1.9 The Rain of Fritters
Hey, everybody. It's your GM, Isaac Allen Burns, here on a not so great mic editing this podcast. Just wanted to let y'all know that the DodoBorne crew is going to Gen Con this year, 2025, end of July into August. We'll be there. I'll be running a couple tables, and if you come to those, you might be able to play with either Joe, Rowan, or Annie, and even myself.
Isaac Allen Burns:So keep a lookout for that. See you at GenCon. Okay. On with the episode. Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's a podcast. Hey. Come on in, everybody. It's me, your GM, your host, your MC, your, favorite artist.
Joe Diametti:Your birthday boy.
Isaac Allen Burns:Your birthday boy. That's right, everybody. It's my birthday. I'm officially 25. Hey, yo.
Isaac Allen Burns:Isn't that exciting?
Rowan Collins:I believe we. Actually, I believe we established the first episode that we're all in our thirties.
Isaac Allen Burns:No. No. No. You can't use them actually. That's, oh, that's right.
Isaac Allen Burns:We did say that, didn't we? Yeah. So I'm I'm, yeah, I'm 35 now, everybody. Anyways, enough about that. Chell, I'm looking on the agenda for our meeting today, and I think that we first need to start with an introduction of the person sitting to my right, Rowan Collins, playing Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:Squawk
Isaac Allen Burns:A and then, across the table from Rowan, we have Joe Diametti playing Kapi.
Joe Diametti:Squawk. No. You know what? Hello. Just hello.
Isaac Allen Burns:And an aged fine wine across the table from Joe, we've got Annie Hawthorne playing crank the clank.
Annie Hawthorne:Tweet tweet.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. It's gotta do it.
Isaac Allen Burns:If you've just started in this episode, hey, that's really crazy because this is a later episode. You should go back to our last episode to get that joke. That was kind of an inside joke for those who have listened to the last episode. Anyways, welcome in everybody. I think let's start our session by talking about where we've been and where we came from.
Isaac Allen Burns:Last time on Dodo Born, our heroes and our dodos.
Rowan Collins:Literally dodos.
Isaac Allen Burns:They traveled around the city doing a little bit of investigation based on the events of the night prior. Kapi had a heart to heart with Cyrus. Scarlet broke down in front of Crank and Pistachio, and the party found out that Ash, the blue inferni was actually the one who broke to Nathaniel's leg much to his dismay and his, denials. Eventually making their way into the forest, they were accosted perhaps, or greeted by one percival anachronisms, the apparent caretaker of a dais in the middle of the forest that was apparently a sage's grove, a place of power once tied to the gods themselves. The party learned the secrets of the dodo born individuals that fate has brought together in moments of crisis and in moments of peril.
Isaac Allen Burns:And as we recall, this awesome bombshell that was dropped on our party that had just incredible implications. Percival's voice travels up into the air and echoes. And I wanna follow that voice for a second because instead of starting with our party, I wanna start somewhere else for a second. Oh, what? We go back a ways the night before.
Isaac Allen Burns:We see a man standing at the edge of an encampment. It is nighttime. Currently, our protagonists are having very chill, relaxing, lucid dreams, all very snuggled away in Pistachio Droop's home. This man, however, stands underneath the stars that twinkle through the canopy of the trees above him. This man is known as commander Glenn.
Isaac Allen Burns:He is a lithe build Simia who walks around with two swords strapped to his back, some dirty red fur, peeking out through some of his armor. His battalion, his squad, his soldiers are here encamped, and he can tell always how his people feel about a mission based on how they act the day before. If they're dangerous or perhaps people are unsure of how it's gonna go, you can feel the tension in the air. People laugh a little too loud. They snap a little too quick.
Isaac Allen Burns:They eat a little too little. However, the opposite feeling is in the camp tonight. Conversation flows as smoothly as the ale at the corner of their lips. Mirth can be heard inside and outside of the tents. He is not one for mirth tonight, though, for he has the hardest job.
Isaac Allen Burns:Him and his squad of three new recruits. He strides over to the other edge of camp and plops down at a campfire where three of his more recent soldiers are sitting, sharpening their brand new weapons. As a note, as an editor's note here, what I think would be really fun is if we look to the person on our left and introduce them each time with a name. So you get to name the person to your left. Commander Glenn, I have taken the moment to name Rowan's character, Buckeye.
Isaac Allen Burns:So Buckeye, how do you like your new tools? Rowan, can you describe Buckeye for us? And the other thing I wanna know the two things I really wanna know about this character are, one, what is their most defining feature? And two, what kind of weapon do they have? Tell us about Buckeye.
Rowan Collins:Alright. So Buckeye is a fawn, with giant deer like antlers coming up above, like, his head, and one, like,
Isaac Allen Burns:very
Rowan Collins:again, he's kind of got, like, brownish, like, skin with, like, one white piece right over his eye. So, like, you know, it gives, like, a circle right around his eye. His weapon is a, a slingshot.
Joe Diametti:Nice.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. He looks over back at the commander and goes, yeah. I suppose this will work.
Isaac Allen Burns:You like the weight of it?
Rowan Collins:It's pretty, it's pretty heavier than your, like, typical, like, slingshots that I'm used to, but it's alright. I'll just two hand this one and, you know, rub some spit in it, and it'll be fine.
Isaac Allen Burns:This is somewhat brand new technology from at the lab. So Right. Right. Good notes. Okay?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Is that what these, like, little blue things are on it?
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. You look down at the slingshot, and you do notice three of you notice. There are these small blue indents in your weapons. See that commander Glenn says they gave us some instructions on how to power them up as it were, so we need to make sure we do that beforehand. I'll let y'all know tomorrow.
Rowan Collins:Well, I'll take a couple of practice pitch shots over here at Chomsky.
Joe Diametti:Okay. I'm Chomsky. Okay. You can be a
Isaac Allen Burns:little more confident.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. No. I'm I'm, I'm Chomsky.
Annie Hawthorne:Uh-huh. Tell me about Chomsky.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. So the thing about Chomsky is he didn't wanna join the stupid war in the first place, but now he's here. And he has a boomerang.
Rowan Collins:Oh, a boomerang.
Isaac Allen Burns:What does Chomsky look like? What can you tell me about Chomsky?
Joe Diametti:Yeah. So Chomsky is a, also a, can he can he be a blue Simia?
Isaac Allen Burns:Absolutely. He can be any color you want him.
Joe Diametti:Alright. He's a blue Simia, but he's, like, not very Donkey Kong. He's very, he's more ditty than he is Donkey Kong.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. Yes. Oh my god.
Joe Diametti:And blue.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. Yeah. Commander Glenn feels a certain kinship with you. Same question, Chaunsky. That boomerang come back to you okay?
Joe Diametti:Yeah. I think so. You know, I I think it's gonna depend
Isaac Allen Burns:on the field, you know,
Joe Diametti:things like weather and wind and circumference, woods like that.
Rowan Collins:Do you even know what circumference means?
Isaac Allen Burns:Buckeye, what do you think circumference means?
Joe Diametti:Circumference means it comes back to you in a circle, you ding dongs.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I see. I made sure the labs provided a short range combat option on each of these weapons. So just make sure that you practice switching between the two of them. You should have a good club in that slingshot, and I believe that boomerang should have a blade on it as well. So
Joe Diametti:Yeah. The boomerang detaches into two. Oh, that's sweet. Each of them, like, have the blade that, like, sticks out.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well done.
Annie Hawthorne:That's super sweet.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. I'm a big fan.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. It, it suits you.
Joe Diametti:Thanks, Buckeye.
Rowan Collins:You're welcome, Chomsky.
Joe Diametti:But I'm more interested in how sunset feels.
Isaac Allen Burns:Andy, tell us about sunset.
Annie Hawthorne:Sunset is a ribbit and is bright orange
Joe Diametti:Yes.
Annie Hawthorne:And is tall and very lanky and is sitting kinda high up on a tree branch, probably keeping watch right now. She's very twitchy. Like, she hasn't slept in, like, two weeks and has just been living off of caffeine and cigarettes. And she's, like, sitting up there, kinda perched on this tree branch with her knees, like, way like, you know, like a frog sits. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:And she's, like, licking her eyeballs like a gecko because she's really twitchy. And, her weapon is a blow gun with poison darts that she uses her own skin to poison.
Isaac Allen Burns:Everyone picked a long way.
Joe Diametti:I feel like none of us picked a weapon that Isaac wanted us to pick.
Isaac Allen Burns:It was really good, actually.
Rowan Collins:Well, we're all long rangers because we're all snipers.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. That's why the three of you were specifically chosen for this mission. You see that, Glenn reaches into a pocket and pulls out a light, pulls out a cigarette, and asks, Sunset, you got a light? I got
Annie Hawthorne:a light somewhere. Let me where was it? I, like, pat down my entire, like, body thinking that maybe I have pockets, but I don't know if I have pockets. And I finally find a lighter, and I just throw it at you.
Isaac Allen Burns:Link catches it and, lights a cigarette.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm gonna need that back, man. I'm gonna need that back.
Isaac Allen Burns:He he, he gets done. You see, he was about to say something. I love
Joe Diametti:this sunset. I know it's just, like, tweaking.
Rowan Collins:It's just tweaking.
Joe Diametti:Just a tweaking frog.
Isaac Allen Burns:He, he laughs the lighter up to you
Annie Hawthorne:I try to catch it.
Joe Diametti:And just fumbles it. Like,
Isaac Allen Burns:You see, Glenn, takes that big big puff and then blows it out and looks at you sunset and says, these things will kill you one day if you're not careful.
Annie Hawthorne:Something's gotta kill me.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, hopefully, it won't be this mission coming up in a few days. We got more intel from the golden rat, more, info on their defenses. As it stands, peacekeepers are a joke. The vets are lazy, and the young guns are careless. Apparently, the only doctor is a priest.
Isaac Allen Burns:Shouldn't have any issues as long as we can hold down the guild. Now Scarlet Flash is gonna be there, but you just leave him to me. You prove yourself in this, you'll be set for your time in here. Do you understand?
Joe Diametti:Are you telling me? What was that? Are you trying to tell me that we get cushy office job perks?
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't know about office jobs, but this job pays real well. If we do well, well, you may not have to lift your weapon again.
Annie Hawthorne:Why is everyone talking so slow?
Isaac Allen Burns:Commander Glenn turns around, and he takes his step away. Another figure comes into view. The three of you see a man step out from the shadows. He's wearing a purple vest. He's got blue skin and horns.
Isaac Allen Burns:Looks like a blue Inferni. He says, just so you three know I wouldn't underestimate the other guild members. Hi. We haven't met yet. My name is Ash.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm tagging along on this little mission of yours.
Annie Hawthorne:Who the fuck are you? You got a cigarette?
Isaac Allen Burns:Can't say I do. I quit the stuff a while back.
Annie Hawthorne:Nobody ever smokes anymore.
Joe Diametti:I can
Isaac Allen Burns:get you the good stuff, though.
Annie Hawthorne:The good stuff? Yeah. Hand it over. Hand it over.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. But it's not for the faint of heart.
Annie Hawthorne:That looks faint of heart to you.
Isaac Allen Burns:Can't say you do, Orange. He, pulls out what looks like a little vial and throws it to you and says, one drop of that stuff in your eye, you'll be seeing circles below, friend.
Annie Hawthorne:Alright. I'm gonna take it like a like, Gollum. Like, it's the one ring. It's just gonna, like, run off into the shadows.
Isaac Allen Burns:Sunset sunset dashes off into the shadows, and, you see Ash just kinda chuckle and look at you two. And I just wanna say I'm just trying not to get in your way too much during this mission, but our little ally shit might last a little longer after this. Okay? So after that vignette, we cut forward in time. The three of you, Kapi, Pistachio, and Crank are standing on the dais.
Isaac Allen Burns:Percival anachronisms has just told you the secret of dodo barns, and he looks and says, that's right. We call him dodo born after the brave dodos.
Rowan Collins:Pistachio's hand shoots up.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you have a question. Yes. Sure. He spins around, and suddenly he's wearing, like, a professor's robe, and there's a a chalkboard behind him.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Alright. So, if I understand this properly, you, you're saying that we're chosen ones because the dodos were, like, spirits and fairs of the gods. Does that mean that we're gonna turn into I mean, I already turned into a dough. But are these two gonna turn into dodos?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, what would that be? Be magic?
Isaac Allen Burns:That would be magic. That would be quite odd.
Annie Hawthorne:I should turn into a dodo.
Joe Diametti:Oh. I I need to I need to be very clear to both of you. I do not want to turn into a dodo. What is happening on this No.
Isaac Allen Burns:No. No.
Joe Diametti:Little altar here?
Isaac Allen Burns:I see. There's been a bit of a misunderstanding. Let me let me try this again. So, you're not really chosen ones as much as you're more like weird freaks, weird little mutants who go around, you scare small children, they run away from you. That's more what you are.
Isaac Allen Burns:See? Because there are some people who are dodo born, and they don't even know. Right? It's just the ephemeral lingering of the ific energies that surround the world that often gets more concentrated in times of peril and great upheaval is more really what I'm saying to you. Percival.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. Of course. That's what
Joe Diametti:I mean. I just I I I need you to level with me here. Okay? Yeah. Are you telling me that I'm bound by eight to these two?
Rowan Collins:Please say yes. Please say yes.
Annie Hawthorne:Please say no.
Isaac Allen Burns:Please say no. Please say no. Would it make you feel better if I said yes, or would it make you feel better if I said no? Yes. No.
Isaac Allen Burns:Alright. Well, then, Craig, you gotta be the one to break the tie on this one.
Annie Hawthorne:I I think this means we're best friends forever, guys. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Then, yes, you are bound together for life. You're basically married. Yes.
Annie Hawthorne:Married. You're the man.
Isaac Allen Burns:You're basically now a, as it were.
Rowan Collins:Oh oh, I really hope we don't have to populate this marriage.
Annie Hawthorne:Me too. I don't want that.
Joe Diametti:This little freak is just messing with us. He popped out of nowhere on a tabernacle, and we're supposed to believe that we are mystical dodos. I just listen. Here's the inner peace.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Not a dodo. Anyways, continue.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I'm a dodo.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, you're you're not a dodo. Alright. Just to be clear, I feel like there was a miscommunication here. You're a dodo board. Alright?
Isaac Allen Burns:You have the spirit of a dodo. If I said anything that made you think that you would turn into a dodo, you know, that's not me. I need to work on, like, communication skills, I think, which you're not gonna turn into a dodo. The dodos are all gone and dead and extinct. Alright?
Rowan Collins:Pistachio blinks and turns into a dodo.
Annie Hawthorne:Are you telling me that I have a spirit?
Isaac Allen Burns:You mean, yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:Where is it?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, you know, that's a good question. You know, the science is still out. If you ask the priests, they'll tell you one thing, and then if he asks, you know, the the researchers, they'll tell you another thing. But, you know, again, you're you are a dodo right now. However, I will say you're more of a simile of what you believe a dodo to be rather than an actual dodo.
Isaac Allen Burns:Like, if I cut you open, you wouldn't have a dodo inside you. I
Joe Diametti:don't know.
Rowan Collins:I opened my hatch, and I looked
Annie Hawthorne:inside it.
Isaac Allen Burns:You look inside your hatch? What's inside the hatch right now, Annie?
Annie Hawthorne:A rotten turnip, an old book, a soft of rope. Whatever coin that I have left after paying my adventuring guild dues, not a lot.
Isaac Allen Burns:Not anything up in that hat?
Annie Hawthorne:I picked the hat up off of my head, and it's it's the stuffed rabbit. It's on my head underneath.
Joe Diametti:Oh. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns:A rabbit on a hat. Never heard that one before.
Rowan Collins:Look. It's magic.
Isaac Allen Burns:There's magic right there.
Annie Hawthorne:Did I do magic? Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:You know,
Rowan Collins:I You pulled a rabbit out of a hat.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I just put it there for safekeeping. How is that magic?
Rowan Collins:I don't know. That's just magic.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I don't think I did magic. Oh, but No. You didn't. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns:But that's okay. You're still very special.
Annie Hawthorne:What?
Joe Diametti:As fun as this little adventure's been It's been fun. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:I've had a great time.
Joe Diametti:It's been a long I just stick my hand out as if to, like, like, kinda in Percival's face. It's been a long day. Alright? The town is still in trouble.
Rowan Collins:Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti:We're still out looking for Ash. Alright. And somehow, we are again being distracted by being here.
Rowan Collins:Oh, I guess that's
Joe Diametti:right. So little Percival guy
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. That's my name. How you doing?
Joe Diametti:Can you help us save the town of Breckenridge? There is a horrible, twisted conspiracy that we all believe goes all the way to the top. Oh. And we need to get to the bottom of it, and it starts with the blue guy with the horns. His name is Ash.
Joe Diametti:Can you help us with your God or your magic or your annoying little tricks? Find Ash.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see that he, kind of puts a puts a finger on his chin and kinda strokes his little beard, and he's tapping his foot. Says, let me look through the Rolodex. And he spins around, and he's now behind a desk, and there's a big Rolodex. He's kinda thumbing through it. Well, you know, it it seems like I don't know of an ash.
Isaac Allen Burns:I also don't know really what the top of what is, but I can tell you this at least just based on observation. You were brought here probably for some reason. I you know? I can't make comment on what the reason is, but I can tell you that perhaps your next step should be to find the relic that was lost from this place many, many years ago.
Rowan Collins:The what?
Joe Diametti:Is that the missing thing from the altar?
Isaac Allen Burns:Indeed it is, my good sir. You are quite the investigative journalist, I see with those eyes, none of them get past you. He spins and now he's in like a big trench coat with a big old magnifying glass. It says, if you look close at this here, also you'll notice there's a divot in it. You see, this is probably something they don't teach you in the history books.
Isaac Allen Burns:So keep this close to your chest kids. When the gods left, they didn't leave fully. They left behind pieces of their power in the form of relics. One such relic was held here, the sage's relic. It was verdant staff is what it was called.
Isaac Allen Burns:Beautiful jade encrusted quarter staff of sorts. He would always hold it up when speaking good wisdom. Like, if the ball is too big for your mouth, maybe it's not yours. That was some good wisdom, he would say.
Rowan Collins:That's good wisdom.
Isaac Allen Burns:Now Oh, boy. It's gone from here. However, the fact that I'm still here, the fact this is still here, it suggests that it's somewhat close. So perhaps if you find your relic, maybe you'll find some answers.
Annie Hawthorne:Can you define somewhat?
Isaac Allen Burns:You know, far enough away that maybe a pigeon could get there in a day or so.
Annie Hawthorne:Do I know how far a pigeon can fly in a day?
Isaac Allen Burns:Make a knowledge check for me.
Annie Hawthorne:13 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burns:13 with fear. I'm gonna use that fear right now. And on a 13, you know, as the pigeon flies quite a far away, it's about twenty four hours worth of a pigeon flying. And as you think that to yourself, you see that, the man in front of you, the little gnome, turns into a pigeon and flies in your face and, like, starts pecking your head and says, think, metal man. Think.
Isaac Allen Burns:How far can I fly? Ask yourself that. Is your precious Breckenridge in this area?
Annie Hawthorne:I grab it.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you got me.
Joe Diametti:Throw it again.
Isaac Allen Burns:What are you gonna do to me? You gonna throw me?
Annie Hawthorne:I'm gonna say, show me how far you can fly. I'm gonna throw it towards the town.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see the pigeon flies towards the town and then plummets to the earth and lands with a thickening crunch. You hear him say, oh, I can't actually fly. Even though I'm a pigeon, I'm still just a gnome. Oh, I'm broken.
Rowan Collins:I wonder.
Isaac Allen Burns:If only someone could tend to my wounds.
Rowan Collins:Not at this point, little pigeon may have
Isaac Allen Burns:Only okay. Fine. He turns back into a gnome and, comes back.
Joe Diametti:Can I perceive here's what I want? I wanna try to send some ill meaning. Ill intent? Ill intent. I meaning.
Joe Diametti:Intention. Here's what I'm nervous about. I'm nervous about as a player. Mhmm. I'm nervous about going to find a weapon of a god and bringing it back to a place that it's not anymore and bad things happening.
Joe Diametti:Mhmm. This is all starting to feel very Indiana Jones in the boulder.
Isaac Allen Burns:Go ahead and make a we're gonna say an instinct to roll for me.
Joe Diametti:Alright. My instinct's plus zero.
Isaac Allen Burns:There we go.
Joe Diametti:That is a 15 with fear. 15 with fear. Do we ever roll with hope in this case?
Isaac Allen Burns:That's a great question, actually. You know what? I'm gonna choose to bank that one. I wanna bank that fear.
Joe Diametti:Do I get a hope?
Isaac Allen Burns:No. You don't. You don't get a hope. I just get to keep that fear for later. And for those keeping watch at home, I haven't been good about telling everyone how much fear I have, but I currently now have six fear banked up.
Isaac Allen Burns:Uh-oh. Hi. It's me, your GM, Isaac Allen Burn. I haven't stopped by in a while. Sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I've been so busy. Am I right? I'm just here to tell you that just a reminder is that as a GM, whenever your players roll with fear, it is encouraged for you to take a GM move right then and there to perhaps maybe interrupt the flow of play for some big story moment or to push something in a different direction. But sometimes if you don't feel like there's a good way to go about it or not a way that would serve the story, you can just bank those bad boys up. So keep that in mind, fellow GMs.
Isaac Allen Burns:Anyways, back to the story. So Kapi is looking at this little gnome who's currently doing cartwheels, and Kapi reads the very, I think, is something so clear to Kapi is that this guy is not telling you everything. There's a lot this guy is not saying, but what he says about the relic could perhaps make sense to Kapi. Maybe something was brought here. Perhaps it was the gods.
Isaac Allen Burns:Perhaps it was something else, but it's definitely pointing towards that relic. And that's what Kapi gains. But Kapi gets the sense this guy is not telling you everything. Ruputtle?
Rowan Collins:Yes.
Joe Diametti:The three
Isaac Allen Burns:of you huddle together, and you see that, Percival comes in between your legs and says, what are we talking about? Person I can help with? Yeah. Buzz off.
Joe Diametti:There'll be a pigeon or something.
Isaac Allen Burns:He turns into a bee and then buzzes away.
Joe Diametti:So what are we thinking?
Annie Hawthorne:Sounds like we need to go find this branch or whatever it is.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. But what happens when we find this branch?
Annie Hawthorne:I don't know. We bring it back here, and then we get what we need.
Joe Diametti:What what do we need?
Annie Hawthorne:To find Ash.
Joe Diametti:And bringing a relic to a temple is going to help us find someone.
Annie Hawthorne:This guy says.
Rowan Collins:I think Kathy's right. I think this is a little bit of a distraction, but I wonder if there's this guy says he doesn't know Ash, but it there's been so many weird things going on. I feel like this could be a distraction for us, or it could be more of the plot to get something to, like, blow up the town or something. Like, what is this for?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, maybe we find it and we use it against whatever's threatening the town.
Joe Diametti:As the leader of this little party
Rowan Collins:Uh-huh.
Joe Diametti:I vote we do find this relic.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. Seconded. Thirded.
Joe Diametti:Perfect. Fourth. Ugh. Sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns:I was listening. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:I pick up the nom and I throw him again.
Isaac Allen Burns:He flies off into the sky.
Rowan Collins:Let's see. Most magic things have, like, a smell to them, so let's see if I get any whiffs of anything from the dice itself. I'm already in a donut form, so this shouldn't take too long. And, Pistachio will, like, waddle over to the little, like, hole and
Rowan Collins:just, like, stick their beak into it.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's how dare you? First question, what the hell? Pistachio, you get a whiff. And, I mean, no role necessary. That's a great idea.
Isaac Allen Burns:Pistachio and, you know, as a GM, some you know, sometimes you don't have to make your players roll for things. Sometimes, it's just goal work, and you know it's gonna work. How could this possibly fail? It definitely won't. This is awesome.
Isaac Allen Burns:Pistachio, I think for the next twenty four hours, any instinct roll that you're gonna make to try and sniff this thing out while in your little dodo sniffy form is gonna have advantage. Pistachios, your head is sniffing. It smells like lilacs. It smells like an old book. It smells like trees.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, and what else does it smell like? Give me one more smell that this thing smells like.
Rowan Collins:It smells like little old ladies that you can call mother.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's so beautiful. As you take in these smells, the gnome lands on the altar having been thrown up in the air, and he's in the Lionel Richie pose. He says, so you got a good idea of what you're gonna do to find it?
Rowan Collins:We're going to the library. Oh.
Rowan Collins:And then almost an instinct, they're gonna just start marching towards the direction that they think the library is.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. That's awesome. You start walking away. The three of you head off away from the well, I don't know if you do that. What do you two do?
Isaac Allen Burns:Do you follow the dodo walking in a direction away from the dice, or is there anything else you wanna do?
Annie Hawthorne:Follow the dodo, but as I go, I have 14 scans of every book about magic in that library in my brain. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, you know, when they go to the library and they're looking through, like, really old new stuff, it's just like flip flip flip flip flip flip on the, like, the screen? Yeah. It's that.
Annie Hawthorne:Like and I'm looking for any mention of a staffer, like, a magic, like
Joe Diametti:Cool.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Crank has been reading these books. And as we established, a lot of these are, like, children's book about magic. However, one of the books was a history of the town because a lot of myths obviously have historical backing to them. And I think that's something that catches your eye is that there is an old picture, maybe a couple hundred years ago, of a fawn man standing in front of what looks like an apple tree.
Isaac Allen Burns:He's got a walking stick, but that walking stick is very big, and the old picture makes it look really knotted, like it's got a bunch of knots all over it. But, Crank, your eyes stop on it again, and you kinda zoom in. And you see this kindly old looking fawn man holding this staff. And on closer inspection with what you heard Percival say, maybe those knots are actually some kind of gem encrusted staff.
Annie Hawthorne:Does this fawn look familiar to me at all? Like, do they have any resemblance to, say, Scarlett or to, say, the the patriarch of the droop family?
Isaac Allen Burns:So you actually do know who this fawn is. His name is written in the book. This is the equivalent of Scarlett's great grandfather. What? His name is Augustus Apple People.
Isaac Allen Burns:Y'all established in, like, episode one that it's the Apple people. Scarlet Apple people is for
Joe Diametti:fun. Alright.
Annie Hawthorne:I'll I'll, like, reach out, and I'll try to put a hand on on the dodo somehow and just get their attention. And I'll be like, I found something. And I'm gonna find somewhere. I'm gonna find, like, a big tree or, like, something that I can, like, project this image onto.
Joe Diametti:Woah. Woah.
Annie Hawthorne:That's, like, through my eyes.
Rowan Collins:That's cool. Is that magic?
Annie Hawthorne:No. It's just a projector.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh.
Annie Hawthorne:But look. That that's Scarlett's great grandfather. And that is his staff. Yeah. Augustus apple people.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I yeah. So you're standing in front of an apple tree, Kathy.
Joe Diametti:You think that's the staff we're after?
Annie Hawthorne:That is the staff we're after. Look at it. Those knots that's jade. Yeah. I will,
Joe Diametti:like, try
Annie Hawthorne:to magnify the image.
Isaac Allen Burns:It enhances. You zoom in a little bit, and it the resolution increases somehow. It gets even more resolution.
Rowan Collins:Oh, gosh.
Joe Diametti:You know what, guys? Actually, I I don't like this anymore.
Rowan Collins:Why? Because I
Joe Diametti:think maybe time out. Right? Time out. Kapi's don't like the time out with his hands. Alright.
Joe Diametti:I don't I don't know where this is going anymore. It's kinda right? Right?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, well If
Joe Diametti:I just wanna make sure that we do not put Scarlet in danger. Okay?
Isaac Allen Burns:As you say that, I would like one person here to make an instinct role.
Rowan Collins:Mine's alright. You said with advantage. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:This will not be with advantage. This is something different.
Rowan Collins:Eight with fear. Or, sorry, 12 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, this is perfect. This is amazing. I'm so happy you're old with fear. Gosh. So as can't be you say the word danger and in an ironic twist of fate, you, Pistachio, you're wrestling.
Isaac Allen Burns:And at this point, Pistachio, you sort of realize something. Since the moment you all left the dais and stopped talking to Percival and were kinda talking amongst yourselves, You have not heard sounds from the forest. Birds have not been chirping. The underbrush has not been wrestling. The wind doesn't even seem to be blowing, and it certainly catches your attention when suddenly there's a snapping of a twig nearby.
Annie Hawthorne:Guys, we're in danger. There's a there's no bird sounds. There's no nothing. There was a snap of a twig. K.
Isaac Allen Burns:What do you wanna do?
Annie Hawthorne:Can I do I hear, like, what how big?
Isaac Allen Burns:On a 12, certainly wasn't small. Certainly wasn't huge, but it wasn't small.
Rowan Collins:It wasn't a tiny thing either.
Annie Hawthorne:Do we know what direction I came from?
Rowan Collins:I point like a pointer dog using my giant dodo snout.
Joe Diametti:How does hide work?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I'm so glad you asked. So, Joe, Rogue has a class feature, called hide, which is when you move into a location where no enemies can see you, you can use an action to become hidden, where, basically, any roles against you are gonna have disadvantage. Targets can't see you, and if you move into line of sight, though, they will be able to see you. But if you try and get hidden when no one's looking at you, you're hiding, essentially, which as it stands right now, you don't see anything. So if Kapi wants to attempt to hide, he certainly can.
Isaac Allen Burns:Not to give the game away, but everyone can do one thing before something happens.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. I wanna hide behind a tree.
Isaac Allen Burns:Very good. Make a well, it just says when you move into a location. So Kapi's gonna move behind there. And as long as the thing can't see you, I'm gonna say you're hidden.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm just gonna step in front of the dodo and assume, like, a defensive posture in the direction where the sound came from.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Rowan Collins:I believe, Pistachio is going to they do a thing, like, in their fawn or, like, fawns have a thing called, like, leap. So they'll just, like, leap up onto Frank and just, like, sit, perch on Frank's shoulder, and, like, nestle a little bit into the little cape so that they can peek out.
Isaac Allen Burns:You do so. Now Kathy's feeling real lame right now. Kathy, you're hiding behind a tree. The other two are just kind of standing at the ready. You see a bush get pushed out of the way and then another as leaping, the underbrush is a large creature.
Isaac Allen Burns:Smaller than that acid burrower, of course, but this thing looks like a bear. However, it has the tusks of a boar. That's right. This is a boar.
Rowan Collins:Boar.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's attacking y'all. It leaps out. And because we rolled fear earlier, the move that I am choosing to do is that this thing is going to attack the first thing that it sees to start this off. I'm gonna roll a dice to see if this Boire can get you with these massive jaws. It tries to clamp down on you.
Isaac Allen Burns:It rolled a 14 to hit you.
Annie Hawthorne:Mhmm. Nice.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, don't you hate that? Oh my gosh.
Annie Hawthorne:My evasion is really low. I'm outside of a barn over here.
Isaac Allen Burns:So this thing bites into you. It has some powerful jaws that grabs onto your arm. There's a total of 16 damage, and you are restrained to you. You can attempt a strength roll to escape. Right now, it's it's, teeth just crunch onto the metal of your arm, and you see one of its paws coming up.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's definitely gonna swipe at you in just a moment. Pistachio, you've been holding on for dear life on Crank shoulders as this thing is just thrashing into poor Crank. Is there anything you would like to do?
Rowan Collins:So Pistachio being in a beast form is going to use something that is as an order born trait, which is called order born dedications. So one of the things that you can do is you can before the game started, I had to write down three values that my upbringing instilled in me. One's for short rest. When I describe how I'm about to embody one of those principles through my current action, I can roll a d 20 as a hope dice instead of a d 12. So the three order form dedications I put down is to do good is to be good, everybody does their share, and a single soft save many.
Rowan Collins:In this case, I'm going to use everybody does their share, and they're going to jump off and try and poke this thing in the eyes and just, like, try and get it off of Greg.
Isaac Allen Burns:Uh-oh. Do it up. So
Rowan Collins:yeah. Uh-oh. How does that
Isaac Allen Burns:My forb where? No. It. Don't kill it so quickly.
Rowan Collins:How does a 29 with hope sound? Another hard one.
Isaac Allen Burns:It doesn't sound good to my forb where. Oh my goodness. Gracious sakes.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. And it's just like I'm going straight for the eyes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Wow. So
Rowan Collins:it just says, like, a d four and then plus that. So is it's five damage, but I'm just trying to poke it in the eye, like, straight in the eye with my, like, thing to get it off of crank.
Isaac Allen Burns:That was with Hope. Right?
Rowan Collins:Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Cool. So it screams in pain. It does a big guttural growl of pain. This thing is hurt. This thing is not happy.
Isaac Allen Burns:Kathy you're behind a tree. I really, yeah. Kathy, Kathy, what do you do? You're behind a tree and currently your two friends who you're now, entwined destiny with. What do you do?
Joe Diametti:Yeah. So Kathy's has his back up against the tree, and he's like, we have too much going on. And now he's upset that, he wasn't there for them because that would upset him. So he goes like, and he, like, quickly looks left behind the tree, looks right behind the tree. Crank, you still got any fritters left?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I have fritters left.
Joe Diametti:Alright. When I say three, throw the fritters. Okay?
Annie Hawthorne:Am I still, like, clamped when those things draw?
Isaac Allen Burns:Or Yes.
Joe Diametti:You are. You're still restrained. Okay. Can't but can Crank can't open the chest at least?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You still can.
Joe Diametti:That's all. I just gotta get the
Annie Hawthorne:I still get all of them.
Joe Diametti:No. No.
Annie Hawthorne:I do wanna make a strength roll, though.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Try and break out your strength roll.
Annie Hawthorne:13 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns:13 with hope. That just barely fails. I'm so sorry. You try and pull off of it, but it's still just too strong. You're still stuck there.
Annie Hawthorne:I feel like it's it's biting onto my my right hand. So with my left hand, I'm gonna try to, like, hold it over here and, like, open my my thing and try to get a fritter up. It's it's not my dominant hand. So Yeah.
Joe Diametti:Alright. And what I wanna do is, so, you know, don't forget, Kapi has that ring that does some slight magic, with rain of blades. So I can spend a hope to conjure throwing blades. But I also wanna use my experience, which is how do you like dumb apples.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:And I essentially want to treat the fritter as a blade, but instead of throwing it at the, just throw it way out into the distance so that the bluer is distracted and hopefully goes after the food.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Okay. Yeah. We're gonna say in this case, rather than an attack roll, I'll let you tell me what kind of skill you would like this to be.
Joe Diametti:I think I don't know. I'm I'm open to without telling you what my scores are, do we think this is more of a strength or a finesse role?
Rowan Collins:Throwing stars? Finesse.
Joe Diametti:Okay. So my finesse is plus two. K. Yeah. Two Which is the higher one.
Isaac Allen Burns:That makes sense to me. I can I can see either way, but I'll let you do finesse? Yeah. Go for finesse.
Joe Diametti:So that is an 18 with fear still. Oh, okay. And wait. Sorry. Plus two for my how do you like damn apples experience, which is 20.
Isaac Allen Burns:20 is really good. Okay. So, Kathy, you shoot this out.
Joe Diametti:So I wanna wait. I like, so, like, I go and I run and I move. I step right in front of pistachios, the dodo. Yeah. And I, like, use my ring and I hold it out, and it starts glowing red, more specifically scarlet.
Joe Diametti:And Oh, beautiful. I go, crank now, and Crank throws it.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I'll throw it.
Joe Diametti:And I use the ring to, like, almost grab it in, like, a force field, hold it in front of the, and hopefully get his distraction, and then use my, you know, hand with the ring clench to throw the magic forward so that the fritter soars.
Rowan Collins:Oh, I love that.
Isaac Allen Burns:That was really good. The fritter you see this thing's eyes were locked up as dashio, and then the delicious smell of apple fritters assaults its nostrils and gets flung in the distance. You see that this thing looks over at it. Because you're over fear, I'm gonna let it have a chance to do something for us.
Joe Diametti:That's fair.
Isaac Allen Burns:So here's exactly what happens. This thing watches it. You see it like it like a like a dog that notices something while it's like playing tug of war, and it just kinda like lets the rope kinda dangle in its mouth for a second. You see it looks over at it and then looks back at you, crank, and then spits out your arm. It kinda, like, pushes you a little bit with its paw and then runs off after the fritters.
Annie Hawthorne:Good thinking, Kathy.
Rowan Collins:Great thinking, boss. That was so great.
Joe Diametti:Can't believe we wasted a fritter.
Rowan Collins:Well, another reason to go see Scarlet, I guess.
Joe Diametti:Yeah.
Rowan Collins:Unless we would've go talk to her father without her.
Joe Diametti:No. Let's see what she knows first.
Isaac Allen Burns:A pistachio.
Rowan Collins:Yep.
Isaac Allen Burns:Can you make a knowledge roll for me?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. That is an yeah. 20 with beer.
Rowan Collins:Uh-oh. Has
Joe Diametti:There been a single hope roll?
Rowan Collins:I rolled
Joe Diametti:a game. I rolled a game. Okay. Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:There's just a couple of hopes rolled around.
Joe Diametti:Oh, okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Just a good day. It was a good day for me, Jim. Yeah. Yeah. Just Joe's having
Joe Diametti:a It is your birthday.
Isaac Allen Burns:Birthday. It's my birthday.
Joe Diametti:I'm glad you're I'm glad you're rolling.
Isaac Allen Burns:A good time. My bear got absolutely brutalized, but that's okay. My buer, pistachio. You've heard of buers before. It's not unusual that they would be out in the middle of the woods.
Isaac Allen Burns:You are pretty far in the woods. But that buer was really aggressive, like, almost more aggressive. Normally, it only goes after small animals. The fact it was attacking all of you seemed less like it was going for food and more like it's just incredibly aggressive.
Rowan Collins:You know, thinking about it, players are scared of wads of all, like, humanoid kind of people. The that one was really, really aggressive. I don't like this.
Annie Hawthorne:Do we think there are more?
Rowan Collins:I think well, okay. So we had the acid burrower near town, and then we have this boar. I wonder if they're running from something.
Annie Hawthorne:What would they be running from?
Rowan Collins:Whatever is, and, and pistachio will point up gorge the direction that it came that way.
Annie Hawthorne:Is is, pistachio pointing towards the mountains right now?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. Pistachio is pointing deeper towards the mountains.
Joe Diametti:What if it's not what if they're not running away from something, but they are being forced our way?
Rowan Collins:Either way, there's something up there that is not good. We could go get the staff, or we could go check out what that is.
Annie Hawthorne:I mean, I've been in those mountains.
Joe Diametti:What's in those mountains?
Annie Hawthorne:Nothing. It's just, like, desolate land between here and Justine. But if something is coming that direction, then it would lead me to believe that it's coming from Justine.
Joe Diametti:I vote. I don't know what I vote.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, should we find the staff and then go back towards the mountains?
Rowan Collins:Or is the staff something to throw us off?
Joe Diametti:Or are the mountains and these animals something to throw us off?
Rowan Collins:I don't think the animals have the capacity of trying to throw us off.
Joe Diametti:Maybe not them, but maybe people releasing them, maybe people that are bringing them to us, maybe people that are making them more aggravated than they should be.
Annie Hawthorne:I still I don't know. I don't know.
Annie Hawthorne:I think either way, we're better off with that staff
Joe Diametti:if we don't get it. I agree with robot.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. Alright. Well, then To the bakery.
Joe Diametti:To the bakery.
Rowan Collins:To the bakery.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hey. It's a podcast.
