1.8 The Sparkle. the Glint. The Glimmer.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this, another episode of DodoBorne. It's me, your GM, and your icosahedron, Isaac Allen Burns. And joining with me today are three other platonic solid polyhedrons. To my left, my tetrahedron, I have one Rowan Collins.
Rowan Collins:You're making me do math on this episode.
Isaac Allen Burns:And, next to Rowan Collins is my octahedron, one Joe Diametti
Joe Diametti:You're making me learn words, and that makes me uncomfortable.
Isaac Allen Burns:And next to Joe, we have one dodecahedron named Annie Hawthorne.
Annie Hawthorne:That's 12. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. That's right. And for those who are listening, just so you know, a platonic solid is a convex regular polyhedron in three-dimensional Euclidean space, which is super cool because those are also the shapes of all your dice. That's right. We're here to teach you something.
Isaac Allen Burns:We're here to learn something. And I think without further ado, I, your Dtwenty, your icosahedron, Isaac Allen Burns, are gonna take you on a new journey in the world of Altea. Pause for music. Anyways, just to recap the last episode, our gang went to sleep. They had revealing dreams perhaps that dove into some of their greatest nightmares, or was it all just crazy dream logic?
Isaac Allen Burns:I guess we're gonna find out. But in any case, they woke up with a variety of emotions regarding what they had all seen. Kapi left in a hurry to confront Cyrus himself, claiming that he knew stuff that he wasn't letting the people in on. Kapi also questioning why he was still a rookie after eight long years. Meanwhile, our two friends
Rowan Collins:Best friends.
Isaac Allen Burns:Best friends. Please. Frank and Pistachio went to the bakery and talked to Scarlett who revealed some dramatic news in that she was getting married off to one of the nephews of Viscount Edgar Balthazar. In shock, they asked if she thought that Kapi would take her away if he knew that she still somewhat had feelings for him. Kapi, at the time, was interrogating random citizens of the town.
Isaac Allen Burns:Finally getting back together, our three heroes elected to go to the barracks based on some news that they heard from Miles, the bartender, that Stethanel got his leg broken by none other than Ash. We find them now on the way to the barracks. As you know, this is a very small town. Wilderness is all around you. And as you walk towards the barracks, you step past the wooden gates that sort of surrounds the town.
Isaac Allen Burns:When I say gates, I'm being so generous. It's the kinda, like, just gates that were put up there just to say you have a gate. It's not really gonna defend anything because, you know, Dragon Road hasn't seen that kind of action. But you step outside. You pass by two older peacekeepers.
Isaac Allen Burns:Right? Some of the vets who've been here a long time. Most of what they do is just kinda sit at the gate. They nod to you as you leave. As you head towards the barracks, you swear once again in the corner of your eyes, you look out in the forest.
Isaac Allen Burns:There's just a twinkle, strange twinkling, almost like a glow beckoning you towards it. But you've got a mission, and you keep walking. The barracks outside of here were set up during the civil war, so they are very recent and very modern. It was originally thought that this was going to be a sort of headquarters for the Volhane army. Unfortunately, due to its lack of tactical positioning of Bracken Road, it didn't really surmount.
Isaac Allen Burns:So you've got, like, a huge barracks. It's, like, three stories. Could probably hold about a hundred soldiers, and, six people are in it. So well, you head up to the front gates, and you see there they are, the the barracks. The gates are open.
Isaac Allen Burns:The barracks are just out of you.
Joe Diametti:It's going?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Alright.
Isaac Allen Burns:You head up. You knock on the door, and they swing open lazily because no one's guarding it. And inside, you see one of the peacekeepers who's there. He's on front desk duty today, and he is fully asleep.
Rowan Collins:Hello? I like Try and tap him lightly.
Isaac Allen Burns:Attention. Soldiers
Isaac Allen Burns:are yeah. Alert. You three, are you scheduled for a meeting today?
Joe Diametti:Are you in a place of being able to question
Isaac Allen Burns:my Yes. I am. I am the front desk sergeant. I'm not a sergeant, but I'm the front desk person.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. And state your business here immediately. Yeah. We're just looking for a blue guy with horns.
Annie Hawthorne:We're also looking for a Nathaniel. We heard he broke his leg.
Isaac Allen Burns:Those two things are related. We heard of a blue horned individual who was harassing one of our soldiers and wound up attacking him. And though our soldier definitely evaded his blows, he tripped on a rock and broke his leg. And that is the story we were told by that soldier. But you want information on the blue horned individual.
Isaac Allen Burns:Do you have any information for us?
Rowan Collins:Well,
Isaac Allen Burns:Speak with your chest, soldier.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. The blue horned individual broke that guy's leg What? In half.
Isaac Allen Burns:That doesn't
Rowan Collins:When is corroborated?
Isaac Allen Burns:That doesn't track with the story we were told.
Rowan Collins:Well
Isaac Allen Burns:One of these must be a lie.
Rowan Collins:Considering Sothaniel's kind of, embellishing a lot of their stories, maybe it's that one.
Isaac Allen Burns:What? Who would accuse your fellow soldier of hyperbole? Yes.
Rowan Collins:Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:These soldiers need more discipline. What to do here? I'm at a loss. Well
Rowan Collins:We could figure it out for you if you let us talk to Nathaniel.
Isaac Allen Burns:This is true. A professional should look into this. Well, gumshoes, I'm officially hiring you as private investigators. Oh. So follow me to the victim, and he marches down the hall.
Annie Hawthorne:I march behind him.
Rowan Collins:I look at, Kathy and, Craig and go, okay. So what's the plan of this guy? Who's the good cop? Who's the bad cop? And who's the incompetent cop?
Joe Diametti:Guys, let's not give into the theatrics here. Everything these people do is just so
Rowan Collins:So you wanna be the good cop?
Annie Hawthorne:Definitely not okay. He's not giving into the theatrics.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, yeah. Says this as he's marching behind the guy as as you're walking behind.
Joe Diametti:Alright. I'm not gonna play good cop with Stutthaniel. First off, his name is Stutthaniel. I'm not going to I'm not gonna pretend to have a grown up conversation with a man named Stutthaniel. Grow up.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. What a dumb name. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm really sure he picked that name.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I think his parents probably picked that name.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Probably because they knew he was never gonna grow up. Harry.
Rowan Collins:See, he seems to be a little better.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. That was more Kapi like, I wasn't saying.
Rowan Collins:Alright, Kapi. You could be the bad cop then.
Joe Diametti:Perfect.
Rowan Collins:As in the bad ass cop. Yo.
Isaac Allen Burns:Language soldier, says the soldier in front of you.
Rowan Collins:I'm sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns:Eventually, he eventually, he leads you to a door with a, nine pointed star on it that says infirmary. Busting inside. Well, I say busting. That sounds really
Annie Hawthorne:he sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns:Let me try that again. Let me take that again. Opening the door. Buy the
Joe Diametti:barrick dinner first.
Isaac Allen Burns:He does not pull a, episode 25 of Neon Evangelion. He instead goes, that's a deep cut for
Rowan Collins:two people. Deep cut.
Isaac Allen Burns:He, he walks inside the door very calmly as a soldier would and stands at attention. And you see inside is a bed, a single bed. And laying on that bed is Nathaniel, his leg in a cast and his face in a frown, and he sees the three of you, and his eyes roll. He says, come to gloat that I broke my leg by falling on a rock.
Annie Hawthorne:That's not true. You both
Isaac Allen Burns:know it. What? What do you know?
Joe Diametti:Oh, I love I love badass Craig. I I whisper to Pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns:What do you mean, robot? You don't know anything. I know more than you think I know. What? What's that supposed to mean?
Isaac Allen Burns:Expound. It
Annie Hawthorne:means I talk to the bartender.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, shit. Hi. Real quick.
Joe Diametti:Where is it? Have you seen, Nefanie? For no reason. Just a
Isaac Allen Burns:Nefanie's on a patrol right now.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Nefanie's okay. It was Craig. Do your thing.
Annie Hawthorne:So what happened between you and Ash?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, I was at the bar waiting for you losers to go get eaten by a acid burrow or whatever. To fight? I did not pick a fight. He came in, and he was talking to me. He seemed cool at first, and then he was called me a government dog.
Isaac Allen Burns:Couldn't handle his one drink. I I was I was not talking to walking back
Joe Diametti:and forth behind Craig, like like the worst hype man you've ever seen.
Isaac Allen Burns:He started he started calling me a bunch of just a bunch of inappropriate things that I did not appreciate. That is probably true. Oh. And so I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. You're kidding.
Isaac Allen Burns:You're probably coward. And he told me that he could he could take me. And so I said, you can't take a proud soldier of Volvane. So we went outside, and before I could swing on him, I tripped on a rock and broke my leg.
Rowan Collins:Uh-huh.
Isaac Allen Burns:Rock kicked your ass?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Have you ever seen this man before?
Isaac Allen Burns:No. I've never seen him before. He was just, like, he just showed up. He was talking shit. And then after he's after he watched me break my leg
Rowan Collins:You mean broke your leg in half?
Joe Diametti:I wanna do a presence check.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Or a
Joe Diametti:yeah. A presence.
Rowan Collins:Oh.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, what are you trying to do? Hang on. What's Kathy trying to do?
Joe Diametti:I wanna do an instinct check, I lied. I wanna perceive.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, okay.
Joe Diametti:Do it up. My instinct is a plus zero.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Do it up.
Joe Diametti:That's a 10 with hope.
Rowan Collins:What is thinking of that? What are you perceiving?
Joe Diametti:Oh, yeah. I guess I I guess I'm just, I'm trying to perceive if he knows anything else or if there's anything else that's, like, part of the story that he's leaving out besides the fact that he obviously got his ass kicked.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. So this is definitely an instinct check. You can tell a 10 with hope that's pretty good that would succeed at sussing out something. So as this guy's talking, sometimes, when we try to tell a lie, it's best to tell half truths. This guy is We're
Joe Diametti:here to teach you something.
Isaac Allen Burns:We're here to teach you something. And so as you are watching him talk about it, he is clearly lying about his leg getting broken. Like, clearly, it was broken by this guy. Mhmm. But the way that he is talking about this guy, because he talks a little more about it.
Isaac Allen Burns:The way that you notice he talks about it is he almost seems uncomfortable by him. Not in a way of, like, oh, I'm mad that he broke my leg. I would take him on again. More like, I don't wanna mess with that dude again. And it seems to go beyond just he got overtaken in battle.
Joe Diametti:Mhmm. Nathaniel. I wanna, like, flip the chair around and sit in it like a old teacher. I feel like I've already done this bit.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm just I'm gonna do it as a captain. Yeah. That's how Kathy talks.
Joe Diametti:He flips the chair around. He suspects, Nathaniel. Listen. We all get scared sometimes. I don't, but I could see how someone named Stefaniels would.
Rowan Collins:He's lying. Frank? Shh. He's a he's a good cop.
Joe Diametti:Frank, not in front of the kids. So listen. Why don't you help us out? Okay? Just can you tell us anything about where he went, if there was any part of the story that you feel you've left out besides him obviously breaking your leg?
Joe Diametti:Was there foul play? Was there magic? Was there anything that you can give us about what happened and or where he went? And we'll go take care of it, big bad man.
Isaac Allen Burns:He's bristling at you with your condescending tone.
Joe Diametti:I kiss him on the forehead.
Isaac Allen Burns:Kinda like, he's like, oh, don't don't touch me. I'll get you right now. If my leg hadn't been broken by falling on a rock, I would what I would do.
Rowan Collins:Oh, really? Okay. And, Pistachio will reach out to his leg and just, like, tap it really hard, and then they tap it really hard. They will cure it. Three hit points.
Isaac Allen Burns:Three hit points. You heal the leg. Pistachio, we flashback to a conversation that you had once with the priest. The priest is talking to you. This is shortly after the Quackers incident, and you're sitting there in front of the priest, and the priest says, look, kid, pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't know quite how to tell you this, but, see, magic and various connections to healing magic is very useful for healing various maladies and wounds and diseases. And when we use too much magic, there are certain side effects that can occur. Think of it like there are parts of the body, that will grow weaker as that sort of relies on magic. Right? Another thing is that the body sometimes heals very slowly, and so magic is a very fast process a lot of times.
Isaac Allen Burns:And so when things heal very quickly, it can often be a very painful like, for instance, if you broke your arm and it doesn't get set properly and you just use magic to fix the arm, it's gonna be a very painful process of where the bones sort of bend themselves, but in a way that's a little less natural. And even when the bones are set, if they get healed instead of, like, having allowing time for the body to naturally heal it, it can be very painful. It's really good, in high intense situation because when adrenaline is pumping, you won't even feel it. You know, your soul acts as a natural defense mechanism. But, you know, in a lot of ways, that's why people become doctors because we need to learn ways, you know, holistically to do it.
Isaac Allen Burns:And, Pistachio, I really gotta tell you, I know you really wanna be a doctor, and you have really great grades. But you have really good grades for someone who is here in Bracken Road. Right? If you wanna go to a really good medical college, being from here has certain challenges. So maybe try a year of being in the adventuring guild, and that could probably propel you to be able to get into those schools where you could be a doctor.
Isaac Allen Burns:How does that sound to you?
Rowan Collins:You mean, it won't take me from here because I'm what? We're we're bad at teaching?
Isaac Allen Burns:No. It's not that we're bad at teaching. It's just that, certain individuals who want to pursue this line of work have various resources that we just don't have access to here. Some of them have tutors. Their schools are able to provide more for them.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's not that we're bad. It's just that we don't have access to this resource.
Rowan Collins:So when I got a heal, like, fifteen broken legs and, like, patch up, like, twelve different stitches and, like, see the inside of somebody's skull before it'll take me on?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, think of it as experience is a great teacher. Right? If you're someone who has a year of experience in the adventuring guild where you're healing people in high intense situations, having to make those snap decisions, that could go far away, in sort of the placement. So you can certainly still try. I just think that, you know, take a year just to see what medicine can be like.
Isaac Allen Burns:Because I think that if you spend that time healing people in that way, I think you'll get a really good appreciation for how important, like, proper medicine and proper healing is. You know? You can't just slap a broken leg and make it bend together just like that, and we cut forward, and you hear a vicious grinding of bone. And Nathaniel screams really loudly and grips his leg and says, okay. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, so
Rowan Collins:that's what the priest
Isaac Allen Burns:meant. Okay. Okay. I'll tell you. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Look. Okay. Yeah. He broke my leg. Okay?
Isaac Allen Burns:He got I don't know. He moved so fast. I tried to hit him with a round with the roundhouse kick, you know, because, you know, the roundhouse kick's so strong. I I get hit so hard, and yet he got around it, got behind it, had my leg above my head, and next thing I know, I felt a sharp pain, and I was on the ground, and he went, look. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:He leaned down and whispered into my ear, and he said, soon, this will all be dust and ash. And then he walked away, and he walked, like, kinda northeast. Okay. And I was freaky, and actually, you know and then Stephanie comes up and says that all of you ran off towards somewhere, and then I passed out from the pain. Okay?
Isaac Allen Burns:But it was really freaky. He kinda he looked at me with eyes of, like, he's oh, look. He's he's freaky. Okay? I didn't like that guy.
Rowan Collins:Hey. Thank you. Sorry about your leg. Quick huddle, guys. I think
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm gonna pass out.
Rowan Collins:Here's some a pistachio will grab into their fanny pack. They will have, like, a little thing of alcohol, and then that'll say, here you go. I should've done that first.
Isaac Allen Burns:He is fully passed out. His eyes have ruined
Annie Hawthorne:his eyes. Oh,
Rowan Collins:I will just, like, splash it on his face.
Isaac Allen Burns:My eyes. Oh, my eyes. Look out of my eyes.
Rowan Collins:Oh, my eyes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Holy Get out of my room. Get out of here. Okay? You win. Is that what you wanted to hear, you blue guy?
Isaac Allen Burns:You win. Okay?
Joe Diametti:Not like this. Come on, Pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns:Guys burn so bad. It
Rowan Collins:burns so bad.
Joe Diametti:Frank, this is your your one job is to watch Pistachio. Make sure that they don't get weird.
Rowan Collins:I was doing a cop and a cop. Did I do it too good?
Joe Diametti:You,
Annie Hawthorne:it was very convincing to me.
Joe Diametti:Very convincing. Let's go have the huddle.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. I
Annie Hawthorne:I like Neil to be a part of the huddle.
Rowan Collins:I like to stand on my toes. Okay. So north
Isaac Allen Burns:eye level with Kathy.
Rowan Collins:So north northeast. Okay. Okay. This is gonna sound really weird, but did you see a sparkle, a glint, a glimmer in the Northeast direction?
Joe Diametti:A north Northeast what?
Rowan Collins:Direction.
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Rowan Collins:What did you think I said? Get out of here, you sicko.
Joe Diametti:I feel like happy wouldn't admit if he did. Let's you know what, kid? Let's assume you saw a sparkle, a glint, a glibber in the north direction. Northeast. Northeast direction.
Rowan Collins:Did you see it quick? Direction.
Annie Hawthorne:I think so. It was like it was there or not. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming again.
Rowan Collins:I think we need to go that direction. We need to be ready.
Joe Diametti:Alright. Listen. I'm I'm willing to take lead on this, not because I saw anything. I feel like we've been spending too much time together. Right?
Joe Diametti:You guys are talking about having the same dreams and seeing the same glibber.
Rowan Collins:We're becoming a real team, Kathy. We're like brothers only closer.
Annie Hawthorne:I was very,
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:So,
Joe Diametti:yeah, let's go.
Rowan Collins:Yes. That was a Spongebob joke.
Isaac Allen Burns:Because I
Annie Hawthorne:looking at Kapi while he's Uh-oh. Pretending not to know all of this. Yeah. Do I think he's lying about the dream and about the glimmer?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, give me an instinct check.
Rowan Collins:I feel like Pistachio trusts Kathy a % except around their mother, so we'll not even try.
Annie Hawthorne:That's only a nine with fear.
Isaac Allen Burns:A nine with fear. You know, this is something small, so I'm just gonna bank that fear. I'm gonna bank it. So I now have another fear. Hi.
Isaac Allen Burns:Me, GM. Isaac Allen Burns here. I currently have quite a few fear. I can't wait to find out how I'll use it. Anyway, back to the story.
Isaac Allen Burns:You look at Kapi. Kapi is in a state. I think that's the thing you can tell most. There's a lot going on in Kapi mind. Whether or not he did or didn't see it, something has kind of maybe gotten under his skin.
Isaac Allen Burns:Maybe it's thrown him off balance. Maybe he's off kilter. I don't think Crank knows, but Crank can definitely tell something's going on with Kapi.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, as we're walking towards the Northeast, I will just be like, how are you doing, Kapi?
Joe Diametti:Oh, I'm I'm good, Crank.
Annie Hawthorne:You seem weird. Weird? Me?
Joe Diametti:First off, I'm the coolest one out of this trio. I wanna be I wanna be very clear.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. That's right. Actually, I don't emit heat, so I don't think that's true. Oh, wait. You just seem not yourself today.
Annie Hawthorne:Would you like some fabric? I can probably find you some.
Joe Diametti:No. I I think I've got I think I've got all the fabric I need, cranky.
Annie Hawthorne:Appreciate it. I've got more apple fritters.
Joe Diametti:Okay. I'll take I mean, I'll take
Annie Hawthorne:an apple fritter. An apple fritter.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. I just eat it, like, for some.
Annie Hawthorne:You know, if you ever wanna talk, you know, I'm here. I don't have ears, but I do have audio receptors. Craig.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Yeah. I don't know. We I just think we're all probably hiding stuff. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh.
Joe Diametti:Like, where do you go with the red eyes? Where does Pistachio when they're talking about being a doctor and also doing magic? And Well, admire into a dodo once an episode. I just think
Rowan Collins:What's an episode?
Joe Diametti:I just think I just I just think that maybe it's better for us in the long run that we don't get too close. Right, Craig? Because you're gonna go be a wizard. That's the plan. Right?
Annie Hawthorne:You're not coming with me?
Joe Diametti:To Polaris.
Annie Hawthorne:A wizard?
Joe Diametti:To Polaris.
Annie Hawthorne:Mhmm. I invited Scarlet too.
Joe Diametti:No. No. Scarlet has her life mapped out here. I don't know
Isaac Allen Burns:if that's
Joe Diametti:true. It's going to do very well.
Annie Hawthorne:I don't know if that's true either.
Joe Diametti:And I also have my life mapped out here.
Annie Hawthorne:I don't think that's true either. But if it makes you feel better, I can tell you where I go and my eyes turn red. I shrink down really, really small, and I go deep deep inside. And all I can do is see and hear, and I don't have control over my actions.
Joe Diametti:Wait
Rowan Collins:a second. Hold on. That doesn't sound healthy either. Has the resident doctor in training? I think you should see a doctor.
Annie Hawthorne:I don't know if what I need is a machinist. But, anyway, I'm just I'm not trying to hide anything.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Well, why do you wanna become a wizard?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, I wanna become a wizard because my master was a wizard, and and he was he was gonna do great things. And I need to carry on his legacy.
Joe Diametti:He was a mentor?
Annie Hawthorne:He was my mentor.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Did he support you?
Annie Hawthorne:I think so. I think we supported each other.
Joe Diametti:Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:He taught me a few things. He gave me these fancy gauntlets. They somehow turn on. I haven't been able to figure that out yet.
Joe Diametti:They look cool, Craig.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. They hit hard.
Joe Diametti:Well, it sounds like he set you up for success.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Did
Rowan Collins:your mentor not set you up for success?
Joe Diametti:Oh, god.
Rowan Collins:Kathy, I feel like it would help you if it got out of your body.
Joe Diametti:If it got out of my body?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Whatever you're not saying is stuck in here between your shoulders right here.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I think it comes out your eyes.
Joe Diametti:My eyes.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. It's sometimes And sometimes we
Annie Hawthorne:can get some cloth to help.
Rowan Collins:If it would make you feel better, I could turn it to an emotional support dodo.
Joe Diametti:This is feeling like more of an intervention. The further we walk. Guys, I just wanna save the town. Don't we all wanna save the town?
Rowan Collins:We do.
Joe Diametti:Save the Apple Festival. Save the girl.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Save the barista. Save the world.
Joe Diametti:Save the barista. Save the world.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes.
Rowan Collins:Save the barista.
Joe Diametti:Alright. Hands in. Crank first because I don't want the crushed. Alright. Hand in.
Joe Diametti:Pistachio on top.
Rowan Collins:I am on
Joe Diametti:top. Save the town and stop bringing up emotional trauma on three. One. Two, three. I refuse to make that promise.
Rowan Collins:I refuse to make that promise.
Annie Hawthorne:I mean, I I don't know. Is it never mind.
Isaac Allen Burns:The three of you have been walking for a while. And as you look up, time, has gotten almost past you guys. The sun is beginning to sink lazily down towards the horizon. And it's probably about late afternoon when the three of you, following some kind of path, it's weird. You look down at the ground, you don't see a path, but your feet seem to know where to go.
Isaac Allen Burns:Almost something pulling you towards it. You find yourself in a sort of glen close to the mountains up north. There are stones and ruins overgrown with trees and vines all around. Something was here at one point, but now it's well taken over by nature. Three of you step finally into this little clearing within the glen.
Isaac Allen Burns:Behind this clearing, you can see almost a sheer wall, a cliff face of the mountain, and yet in front of it, you see this large circular dais. It seems very familiar to the three of you, almost like what you saw in that dream. Three of you are standing there. You see towards the back of this dais, the opposite side from where you stand, so it looks like an altar with a small indent going across it. It is empty, but it is there.
Isaac Allen Burns:And this is what the three of you see.
Annie Hawthorne:I imagine think I like it here.
Joe Diametti:I imagine it's one of those things where we were having that conversation, and we just look up, and all of a sudden, we're there. But we don't really
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:Know how we ended up there.
Rowan Collins:I'll at the end of Mulan's, like, I'll make a man out of you when they just look up and there's a decimated village. That's the, like, kind of
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You see overgrown ruins all around you. And yet this clearing here, not a speck of dust on the stones of this diet. What?
Annie Hawthorne:Is it quiet, or do we hear the sounds of nature?
Isaac Allen Burns:You hear the rustling of the leaves and the trees. You hear a distant flitter of a bird. You hear the rustling of underbrush. Nature is very much alive here.
Rowan Collins:Should I talk to the grass?
Joe Diametti:I mean, there's birds.
Rowan Collins:Or birds. Would it make you more comfortable if I talk to birds?
Joe Diametti:I just think if we're going off the things that might be able to help us.
Rowan Collins:Oh, that's true. They are more brady. I look around to see if there's a bird that I could talk to.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You look around, Pistachio, and you see with your eyes as you're looking, you see a lone turn sitting on a branch high above you.
Rowan Collins:Okeydokey. I will try to talk to it.
Isaac Allen Burns:Very good. Use that ability that you have.
Rowan Collins:I sure will. I will ring. I'm doing an instinct roll to see if I could I rolled a 17 with hope. So
Isaac Allen Burns:Wow. That's so good. That's really good.
Rowan Collins:Will hopefully give me the new information that they know. So I will actually, a 19 with hope. Pistachio will turn to the bird and go, hello, turd. Are you You're not touching. What is what is this place?
Isaac Allen Burns:Tweet tweet. What's that? What's this place?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. What's This is
Isaac Allen Burns:a forest. Don't you see the trees?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. But what's that? You silly.
Isaac Allen Burns:You silly, little goose. Uh-huh. What'd you want? I'm not
Rowan Collins:a goose. But From
Isaac Allen Burns:up here, you look like a goose. You got a big long neck. You're walking and waddling around. I no. I I don't wanna know what this place is.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's a forest, silly.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. But what's that dais thing?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I know I know instinctually what it is. It's a place of great power. I really like being near it. Makes me feel good.
Rowan Collins:It makes you feel good?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Being near it makes me feel good. Do do
Rowan Collins:do do do. Oh, I it's not time for dancing turd.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's time for dancing, especially when there's another bird around. You see any other turds? I'm trying to get some. You know what I mean? That's what I do as a bird.
Rowan Collins:Wow. Okay. Remind me not to be a dodo. I if I turn to everybody else, remind me not to be a dodo in here. That turd is very horny.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you're turning to dodos?
Annie Hawthorne:Doesn't look like it has horns to me.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:What's it saying, Pistachio?
Rowan Collins:Oh, it's saying this is a place of great power.
Joe Diametti:Great power.
Isaac Allen Burns:Great. Talking to your friends over there?
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hey.
Rowan Collins:Do you
Isaac Allen Burns:have any good turds?
Rowan Collins:I don't
Isaac Allen Burns:know any other fellow turds looking like me, but different from me.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm trying to lay some eggs. You know what I mean?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I know. Sweet tweet. I know. You have to further your species
Isaac Allen Burns:in any
Rowan Collins:way possible.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's really easy around here.
Joe Diametti:Not like the dodo.
Rowan Collins:Really easy around here?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Everything's fertile around here. Everything's fertile? Yeah. Plants grow real easy here.
Isaac Allen Burns:Tweet tweet.
Rowan Collins:Like how easy?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, really easy. Look around you. Did you know that this used to be a place that had a bunch of, like, big stones? Like, someone put them there. Tweet tweet like a nest, Or for people walking around on two legs.
Rowan Collins:Oh, wow.
Joe Diametti:Love this fucking bird.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. And then it, then it wasn't. At least that's what the ancestors tell me.
Annie Hawthorne:I have ancestors.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Have you, have you touched the dais?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, no. I will I haven't done that.
Rowan Collins:Do we do it? Why?
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm not supposed to.
Rowan Collins:Why?
Isaac Allen Burns:That's just as instinctually. I know. I'm not the kind of person who's supposed to. There are people who are supposed to touch it, but I'm not one of them.
Rowan Collins:Would you know internally if you were a person to touch the dais?
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't know. I don't think it works reverse. Tweet tweet.
Rowan Collins:Pistachio looks towards the dais. Do they feel like a compelling need to touch it?
Isaac Allen Burns:The same kind of compulsion that has pulled the three of you continues still.
Annie Hawthorne:I wanna
Joe Diametti:let Craig touch it.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I think, while while, Pistachio is talking to the bird, Craig is just gonna, like, step up and walk towards the altar.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Kapi's watching Crank.
Isaac Allen Burns:Craig, you step up on the altar. You step up on the dais. It's actually, though, the bird looks at Crank and says,
Isaac Allen Burns:oh, one person touched on the dais. Tweet tweet. Time to go. Goodbye.
Isaac Allen Burns:The bird flies away.
Rowan Collins:Uh-huh. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Crank, you stand on this dais. Nothing's different. You're still standing here.
Annie Hawthorne:I won't feel anything.
Isaac Allen Burns:No. You really don't.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm gonna walk forward, and I'm gonna put my hand on the altar.
Isaac Allen Burns:You put your hand on the altar, and you feel a deep emptiness. There's something missing.
Annie Hawthorne:In me or in the altar?
Isaac Allen Burns:In this place.
Annie Hawthorne:In this place. Something's missing. Something's missing.
Joe Diametti:What do you mean?
Annie Hawthorne:Something's missing.
Joe Diametti:K.
Annie Hawthorne:I feel it.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Alright. Come on, Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Joe Diametti:We also walk up.
Isaac Allen Burns:Three of you walk up, all stepping onto the dais. There's a beat where nothing happens. Suddenly bursting out of the bushes is a small gnome. He's got a big, bright, cheery face. He's got a beard that goes down to his navel.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's like a white beard. He's got a red cone conical hat. He's wearing, like, a green tunic, and he looks at all three of you and says, well, look at here. Looks like we got some people on my dais.
Annie Hawthorne:Are you what's missing?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I've been here a long time. I'd know I'm missing if I couldn't find myself. What are the three of you doing here?
Rowan Collins:Standing on a dais. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Standing on my dais.
Joe Diametti:Okay. And what, what we'll get off do you want us off the dais?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you can stay on the dais if you want.
Joe Diametti:I'm the one supposed
Isaac Allen Burns:to clean it. I gotta clean it now anyways.
Joe Diametti:Oh, it's a nice dais. Thank you. I had
Isaac Allen Burns:worked very hard on it. Hey.
Annie Hawthorne:What exactly is it?
Isaac Allen Burns:It's a diocese.
Annie Hawthorne:For what purpose?
Isaac Allen Burns:Wait a minute. You don't know what this place is?
Annie Hawthorne:No. No.
Isaac Allen Burns:What are you doing here then? Why are you here?
Annie Hawthorne:We found it.
Isaac Allen Burns:You found it? You're just walking around and you stumbled upon it?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Exactly.
Isaac Allen Burns:You tripped on a rock, hit your head, and found yourself here in wonderland.
Annie Hawthorne:It didn't hit my head, I don't think.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you don't think?
Annie Hawthorne:I do think I have a screw loose, though, if you know a good machinist.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, though, we all have a couple screws loose as well, I haven't checked my old ticker in a while, but I don't think a machinist is gonna help you get out of here.
Annie Hawthorne:What do you mean get out of here?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, you came here randomly. According to the three of you, you told me you just stumbled upon this place randomly.
Rowan Collins:We were drawn to it.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you were drawn here. Wait. Wait. Wait. That changes the story.
Isaac Allen Burns:He kinda hops up on the altar and stands up really tall and says, so the three of you were drawn here. Tell me about it. You had an experience. Did you have a dream?
Rowan Collins:I looked at Kathy. I'd
Joe Diametti:okay. Yes. I had the dream.
Isaac Allen Burns:You had a dream, did you? Suddenly, there's a spiral like a tornado, and this guy is sitting on, like, a therapist's chair. He has, like, his little legs crossed. He's got a little clipboard. The three of you are now laying down on, like, therapy pictures.
Isaac Allen Burns:And he says, so you had a dream, did you? Why don't you tell me about this dream you had? And tell me how it made you feel.
Joe Diametti:Well, I guess it all started when I was a kid. I think that anyways, no. I so, there was a asset borrower. We fought an asset borrower
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:Alright. Recently in real life, not the dream.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, this isn't the dream. This isn't the dream.
Joe Diametti:The real life makes sense for the dream. I'm getting there.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Okay. No.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. It's his first time.
Annie Hawthorne:He has a process. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Of course.
Joe Diametti:We would we bought an acid borrower in real life.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:And then the acid borrower showed up in my dream. Your dream?
Annie Hawthorne:My dream dream. Your dream?
Rowan Collins:My dream dream.
Joe Diametti:Wow. Showed up in our dream, and, it turned into the leader or the secretary, owner of the building adventure guild back in town. Are you familiar with Breckenridge?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, I can't say I am. Is that a kind of fruit?
Joe Diametti:It can't be that far. How long were we walking? Okay. Then we were in the clouds, and Crank fed wolves that started making
Rowan Collins:out. Oh, yeah. Now they did start making out.
Joe Diametti:Then there was bushes
Isaac Allen Burns:Alright.
Joe Diametti:With blackberries, I think, and or thorns.
Rowan Collins:Both. Yeah.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. And what happened with your thing again?
Rowan Collins:Oh, I Oh,
Joe Diametti:you were getting a rash.
Annie Hawthorne:Cut it down with a machete Yeah. That gave them a rash.
Rowan Collins:There were four sets of prints. Right?
Joe Diametti:Yeah. There was four sets of prints.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, sometimes there were three.
Joe Diametti:Sometimes there were three.
Rowan Collins:But why were there four?
Joe Diametti:I thought the acid burrower.
Isaac Allen Burns:Those were the times that you carried it.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. You carried the acid burrow. Why would we do that?
Isaac Allen Burns:Seems so. Well, as you know, dreams are very important. This is a world of myths and magic, and so dreams should be taken incredibly seriously. I've never had a dream before. Really?
Isaac Allen Burns:You haven't had a dream before? No. We don't really dream. Must be pretty light up there. Titanium, more like aluminum.
Isaac Allen Burns:Am I right?
Rowan Collins:I don't get it.
Annie Hawthorne:I don't get it either.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, you know, that's an old one. That's an old joke. You just wouldn't understand it. You're too young.
Joe Diametti:Then we saw the sparkle.
Rowan Collins:Oh, yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:You saw sparkle? The hot sparkle in G.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. Also, Kapi's been lying to all of us, and I think that there's a deeper meaning with that, but we can make an address that later.
Rowan Collins:Oh, Kapi's Lying?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, he said he didn't see the sparkle, and he didn't have the dream, and now he did.
Rowan Collins:I feel so betrayed.
Isaac Allen Burns:Are you lying to your friends there, blue cowboy?
Joe Diametti:Alright. Friends, I you
Isaac Allen Burns:walk around with three people in the woods and you stumble upon a dice from a dream you all shared and you're confused if you're friends or not?
Joe Diametti:I'm in charge of protecting them.
Isaac Allen Burns:There you are. Sure you are, you big bag of beans.
Joe Diametti:It's important to me that they are protected because that is my job as the senior member at the Adventurers Guild.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Well, those words don't mean much to me, but they seem to mean a lot to you. So I'll let you keep those in your heart and your mind.
Joe Diametti:Okay. What what is what what what Well,
Isaac Allen Burns:it seems like we're having a discussion of what our dreams are, but it seems like there's something else going on here. It seems like you, three have a lot of things that you're trying to work out right now, and I'm here to help. I'm just here to listen.
Annie Hawthorne:A lot of things, but I think, number one, we need to really understand what this place is because it drew us here. It was like a magnet.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Well, I see. You know, these things happen these ways, so I can let this slide. So the three of you have stumbled upon here. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:So let me talk a little bit about myself then as most conversations are good to start with. So I am the caretaker of this place. This is the Sage's Grove.
Joe Diametti:What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns:My name is Percival Anachronisms, and I'm the caretaker of this here Sage's Grove. This is a place of power. You see, back long ago, back in the day when I was but a young sprout was walking around, it was a old time ago when the gods walked among us. That's right. You've probably heard of the nine gods.
Isaac Allen Burns:It used to be they'd walk around just like any of us, toddling around, saying things. Sage would often come here and preach on wisdom, say things like, we need to live a balanced life, or we need to take care of nature as it takes care of us, or beer before liquor, never sicker. You know, things like that. It's a wisdom that, it's good to have. And, well, as you know, as the history tends to go, the gods eventually left.
Isaac Allen Burns:But this place remained. Remained for a long time. Used to be a temple here, but, you know, once Sage's relic was taken, it, sort of crumbled down. I'm just the caretaker, you see. I'm not here to defend it.
Isaac Allen Burns:I take care of it. You know? I dust off the dust. I leaf off the leaves. I bug the bugs away, and I stick the sticks up my ass so that they aren't littering all over the dais.
Isaac Allen Burns:You understand? Does that make sense to all of you? Yeah. Alright. Percival.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. That's my name.
Joe Diametti:Great. I love what you've done with the place.
Isaac Allen Burns:Of course. Do
Joe Diametti:a great job of it. Who is Sage?
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm sorry. Wait a minute.
Annie Hawthorne:Hang on. Think Sage is one of the nine gods. Do you not know who the nine gods understood.
Isaac Allen Burns:Thank you, tall, dark, and titanium.
Joe Diametti:I remember, like, roughly in, like, primary school with
Isaac Allen Burns:sage. My.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Sage is one of the died gods, Kathy.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Well, you'll tell one of these kids you're telling me they don't teach you about the gods. I'm guessing they don't what?
Annie Hawthorne:I didn't go to school. I don't know. You didn't have the rest of the books.
Rowan Collins:They did, but it was one of the classes that is easily skippable.
Isaac Allen Burns:Next thing you're gonna tell me is they didn't even teach you about the great seep.
Rowan Collins:The what? The what? You don't
Isaac Allen Burns:know about the great seep? Oh, Well, I'm certainly not going to tell you. You need to do a bit of your own investigative research, it seems. Put a little gum on your shoes and walk around and try and figure out your own questions. Why don't you?
Isaac Allen Burns:Gracious. By the night, by sage's ballsack. This is terrible. You three have disappointed me greatly. Oh, no.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, have you happened to be disappointed by a blue man with horns lately?
Isaac Allen Burns:Blue man with horns? I can't say well, I've met a lot of people in my day.
Annie Hawthorne:Have you met anyone in the past two days?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, see, that's the problem. The time doesn't really mean much to me anymore because I've been here for so long that, you know, to me, this has been so fast. This has been a whirlwind. Not a lot happens. You see?
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't really know what time what a year feels like anymore. So tough. But I'm sure sometime in my history, I have seen a man with horns who is also blue. However, I cannot, for any certainty, say I've seen one recently.
Rowan Collins:Wait. Is this a trap too? Is this a time loop that we are stuck in?
Isaac Allen Burns:You're right. This is a time loop. He spins around, and you're standing on the edge of the dias, and he's standing on the altar and says, what are you three doing here? How'd you get here?
Rowan Collins:Oh. What? Oh, no. Oh. Oh, crap.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm just kidding. It's not a time loop. I'm just messing up.
Rowan Collins:Oh, no.
Isaac Allen Burns:Don't worry, goat hands. It's fine.
Annie Hawthorne:Goat hands. She has very sensitive. You really have to be careful with
Rowan Collins:them. Goat hands?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You got goat hands.
Rowan Collins:I don't have goat hands. I
Isaac Allen Burns:have fun hands. Sure. You do. Haven't you seen a goat? You know what its hands look like?
Isaac Allen Burns:I do. That's what your feet look like. You got goat hands to feet.
Rowan Collins:Those are my feet. No. My hands.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. They look like goat hands.
Rowan Collins:Oh, god.
Isaac Allen Burns:Don't you worry a little bean about it.
Rowan Collins:I'm worrying more than a bean about it. Well
Isaac Allen Burns:Alright.
Annie Hawthorne:Help us or not.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well
Annie Hawthorne:This is starting to seem like a dead end, Kathy.
Rowan Collins:I I think it's a trap.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, you can't have a little fun these days with the uneducated types. So you three don't know the name of the nine gods, and you don't know what the great seep is. Alright. Well, I guess I'm gonna for
Annie Hawthorne:a blue man with horns. That's the only reason we're here.
Isaac Allen Burns:With horns. But listen. If you're here, that means very specifically that destiny has concentrated itself around the threads of fate that surround your being. Alright? That was
Annie Hawthorne:a lot of prepositions, and I don't know if I'm following.
Isaac Allen Burns:Listen. Oh, well, maybe if you spoke less and listened more, you know, the gods gave you two ears and one now.
Annie Hawthorne:Actually, I have auditory sensors. I don't know.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh my goodness. You know what audio sensors are, but you don't know what the great seep is. I swear. Next thing is you're gonna tell me that you understand the laws of momentum.
Annie Hawthorne:I do understand the laws of momentum.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, do you now? Mhmm.
Annie Hawthorne:And I will pick up
Isaac Allen Burns:I'll pick up the gnome Oh. And I'll say applying a force to
Annie Hawthorne:an object creates momentum, and I'll just toss him.
Isaac Allen Burns:He, hits a tree, and he Ah. Spread eagle on it and then falls down. Oh. And then a branch falls from the tree and lands on it.
Rowan Collins:Oh, no.
Isaac Allen Burns:And it's a big oof. Wow. That was fun. Oh. So alright.
Isaac Allen Burns:He brushes himself off and sits back on a diocese. Alright. All of that to say is that there are certain individuals during times of crisis let me let me put it in words. So you know how sometimes the monsters get a little worse around here, animals seem vital, people start getting blood hungry, wars happen, people kill each other. You know, that happens every so often.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, during these times of crisis, certain individuals are, you know, I've come to not like the word chosen, so I'm not gonna say chosen because it's really not chosen. Because some people don't even know what's happened. But I'm going to say that certain individuals are bound by the laws of fate together due to the, we'll say, lingering deific powers that still exist within the world today. Alright? None so more so than the great relics of the nine.
Isaac Allen Burns:Right? So, you know, these individuals that seem to be such as yourselves have a couple benefits with this. They often find themselves in the middle of thing crazy things happening. Right? First and foremost, you know, you tend to grow up more powerful at a quicker rate.
Isaac Allen Burns:You know? You know? If I was to use a word for it, perhaps leveling up happens a little quicker for them than normal people. Perhaps they can survive worse or blows. You know?
Isaac Allen Burns:But, you know, what it all stems from, really, a lot of people don't know this, but, you know, I'm here to teach you something. And what I'm gonna teach you is this, that, back when the gods were walking around, they actually had servants that would follow them around. They would act as their confidantes, their silly rabbits, their muses, their steeds, and, they were known as dodos, the very dodos themselves.
Rowan Collins:Wait. Really?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. Dodos? Yes. Dodos. They were very brave.
Isaac Allen Burns:A lot of people don't know this. The issue is, though, they were very populous back in the day, especially up north. However, once the gods left, you know, the dodos' whole purpose kinda left with them. So they just sort of began existing instead of living. And so, you know, eventually they sort of just went extinct because what purpose did they have?
Isaac Allen Burns:But their spirit does live on, you know, like I said, certain individuals find the tides of fate, grow strong around them. And, you know, those individuals, we often call them dodo born. Booyah. Cue the music. Hit the music button.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. Cue the music. There we go. That's right. You all thought that there would be made up words that didn't mean anything, that we were just sitting around, and we just came up with this word out of nowhere.
Isaac Allen Burns:But, no, there was a plan the whole time, you people. Don't ever doubt the power of stories. That's right. It's me. It's me.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It five steps ahead of you.
Rowan Collins:Oh my god.
Isaac Allen Burns:I actually can't fucking believe that you made I I don't I never saw a comedy. I truly, like
Rowan Collins:Yeah. I'm sorry, Kai. I
Isaac Allen Burns:didn't think
Joe Diametti:that there
Isaac Allen Burns:was ever gonna be a real meeting out. That was actually incredible. Absolutely. Now we're gonna yeah. I'm glad.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. And I think that's where it's a good place to end our session today, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in to DodoBorne! You know, before we go, I just wanna thank Darrington Press for being so wonderful in creating this game. We love it so much.
Isaac Allen Burns:And, you know, as they say in Voldain, squawk you later. Squawk. Squawk. Hey, It's a podcast.
