Meet the Robinsons.
Isaac Allen Burns:Meet the Robinsons?
Joe Diametti:Oh, like the cartoon?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Yeah. Hey. You know who has a song in that? Rufus Wainwright?
Rowan Collins:Oh, your guy.
Joe Diametti:So do the Jonas Brothers.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, who who knows who they are? They pale in comparison to the fame and infamy of Rufus Wainwright.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hey, everybody. It's a podcast. Not only is it a podcast, it's season two of a podcast. Hey. Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns:Squawk on three. One, two, three. Squawk. That's right. This is season two of Dodoborne, and you may be wondering who's talking right now.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's me, your GM, your editor, and your good friend, Isaac Allen Burns. Joined with me today are three very special people. You know them. You love them. Starting with Rowan Collins playing Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:That's me.
Isaac Allen Burns:And across the table from Rowan, we have Joe Diomede playing Kapi. Hello. And two Kapi's left. We have one Annie Hawthorne playing Crank.
Annie Hawthorne:Hey, everybody.
Isaac Allen Burns:Check it out, gang. We're on a podcast again, season two. Now before we get into the meat and potatoes, before we get into the the pizza and garlic knots, we gotta Sounds
Annie Hawthorne:really good or making me hungry.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. We're gonna do some business. And first order of business I wanna say is something exciting has happened, gang. Do you know what's officially has happened that's exciting?
Joe Diametti:What? What?
Isaac Allen Burns:Our players, our adventurers, our Dodos are now level two. Get off. That's right. Based on their heroics in the last session and due to narrative consistency, we have leveled up. We are now level two.
Isaac Allen Burns:We are now in tier two gameplay. So before we get too far, I just wanna let everyone know what has updated for our characters. And you know what? Because I like to change things up and keep people on your toes, we're gonna go a different direction this time. We're gonna actually start with Rowan Collins.
Isaac Allen Burns:Tell us about this one. Tell tell us about Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:That's so funny. What I did was I added an additional hit point. So pistachio can take another damage. And I also took another domain card, so we'll see what those are. In addition, we do get new experiences.
Rowan Collins:And should I say what those are or leave that?
Isaac Allen Burns:Let's say what our new experiences are. Yeah.
Rowan Collins:Okay. My new experience based on everything in season one is a taste for blood.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, spooky. Awesome. Keeping it different, keeping it fresh. We're gonna move over to Rowan's right and we're gonna go to Joe Diarmidi. Tell us how Kapi leveled up.
Joe Diametti:Kapi added points to attributes. He also took a new domain card.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:And his new experience given last season is like Cyrus, like Kapi.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh. Can't wait to see how that comes about. And now 45 degrees from where Joe is sitting, we have Annie Hawthorne. Annie, tell us about how crank has leveled up.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. So first of all, I have reflavored crank from a stalwart guardian to a vengeance guardian. That's gonna be fun. Oh. But, yeah, I increased Frank's strength plus one.
Annie Hawthorne:So I have a plus three in strength now, and I increased knowledge plus one. He's been reading a lot. And I took an extra HP.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. All tracking with narrative decisions that were made in last season. Very exciting.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, wait. I forgot my experience.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:My new experiences. I've got the magic, baby.
Isaac Allen Burns:You've got the magic. That's right. A little bit of magic for Crank. One other thing that we're gonna do is since the edition has come out, and I just want the fans to know that I'm doing this because sometimes I have to be a nice deal gremlin is that I have these little tokens here for each of my players, and these are gonna represent my fear. So not only am I gonna spend fear to do bad things, I also get to choose which person's fear that they gave me to use.
Isaac Allen Burns:And so that's just gonna add a little bit of extra flavor here. Currently, following the rules, I have one fear from each of them. I start with one fear per PC, and I will no doubt grow this as time goes on. But nevertheless, that's all for business gang. Are we ready
Joe Diametti:to start
Isaac Allen Burns:season two? Let's go.
Joe Diametti:Oh, it's been so long.
Annie Hawthorne:Let's do it.
Isaac Allen Burns:Let's jump in. Last season on Donoborne, we followed the exploits of three up and coming adventurers in the Bracken Road Adventuring Guild. Bracken Road is a small little town within the middle of the Algenabai Province known for its apples. Our three adventurers got to know each other with a little bit of turnip hunting and some eel gator smashing, and soon upon them was the Apple Festival. As the Apple Festival drew nearer, strange individuals were coming to town causing chaos, monsters were attacking on the edge of town, and the librarian was acting hella sus.
Isaac Allen Burns:Additionally, our three adventurers had strange dreams that eventually led them deep into the forests, just to the north of the town close to the mountains, where they met Percival Anachronisms, a joyful little guy who protects this little place, and told them about a relic from the gods from before the age of gods that was stolen at some point, and oh, if only it could get brought back. Our adventurers headed back into town and eventually discovered the relic deep under the town hall with a man chained to it whose head was quickly crushed. During the Apple Festival, the very end of the first night, an attack occurred. Big explosion. That's right.
Isaac Allen Burns:The town hall blew up and insurgents wearing the armor of Jethane, a neighboring country, stormed into town burning things and causing chaos indiscriminately. Our heroes rose to the challenge and did what they could to protect the town, eventually culminating in a smackdown drag out brawl that was somewhat one-sided between them and a couple of the insurgents, including their leader, a red simia named Commander Glenn, who was knocked out and carried away, and maybe we'll see him in the future. After soundly defeating them, however, we left our heroes to ponder what had occurred in the broken remains of a burned Bracken Road. A day has passed since the attack. Ash still clings to the air and the smell of burnt debris still wafts into your nostrils as you survey the scene.
Isaac Allen Burns:Sleep did not come to much of the people here as the shock of what has happened begins to wear off and the realization of the loss of much of their livelihood and their community sets in. Major Balthazar and his remaining squadron are doing what they can to keep things organized and help with as much rebuilding as they can, But you can see in their faces that there is very little belief of rebuilding anything here. A throng of people has begun to gather at the southernmost gates where the main road is as horses and the carriages that are available begin loading up people as the first round of refugees will be heading south to the Algenabai provincial capital. As a couple people are leaving though, you three are still here. And I wanna know, where did you spend the night and what are you doing now?
Rowan Collins:I think since Pistachio's house burnt down, I think Pistachio and their family kinda, like, slept outside as to where the farms used to be and that they've taken the displaced people from the town and set up camp there. Pistachio and Hazel would both be, like, running around, trying to help heal and provide care to everybody that was kind of down.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. Nice. As the day comes to a close, a cart eventually makes its way to the remains of your family farm and loads up some of the people on there, including your mom and including Wally, whose face is not doing great, but he's able to at least walk around and at least help out a little bit. Mhmm. Before your dad gets on, though, he turns to look at you and nods solemnly and looks at his little baby child and says, it's gonna take some time to find any kind of normalcy, but we droops can be resilient, Pistachio.
Isaac Allen Burns:We'll we'll be okay.
Rowan Collins:That's true. Stroops always bounce back.
Isaac Allen Burns:He weakly smiles and says, that's that's right. That's right. And we still we still have some savings, you know, keep the savings in the mattress, which for us, the mattress is in the field out back. So, you know, we always had some.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:We got a couple of handfuls of gold squirreled away, or should I say fond away.
Rowan Collins:You still got it.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm really proud of you, Pistachio. These last couple weeks, you've really grown.
Rowan Collins:Thanks, dad. That beats a whole lot. I have a lot of emotions I don't know how to handle.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. We all get sad sometimes. He just kinda bleeds in. It kinda gives you a a light hug, kinda like an awkward dad hug where he doesn't quite know what to do.
Rowan Collins:Awkward dad hug with the three pat.
Isaac Allen Burns:He gives you the three pat, comes out and kinda, like, goes for a handshake.
Rowan Collins:Very funny.
Joe Diametti:Go for the fist bump at the same time. Oh, no.
Rowan Collins:Oh, boy, You're
Isaac Allen Burns:not the not the little kid anymore. You're you're grown now.
Rowan Collins:That the world seems so much bigger, too big perhaps for someone like me. What did what did you do when you were this little?
Isaac Allen Burns:I wouldn't know.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:I've always been this tall.
Rowan Collins:You've always since since you were a little baby.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. This is how tall I came out.
Rowan Collins:You came out of your mom that size.
Isaac Allen Burns:Sure did. Yep. That's what being a dad is all about. Oh. It's being big and important.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Alright. Wow. Impressive.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, anyways, good talk. Good talk. We're gonna we're of your mother's condition, we're allowed to be on the first run.
Rowan Collins:So Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:And with that, a bit of ash flies between you and flies up in the air. And we watch it. We watch it go. We watch it fly away. And we're startled as we look, and in front of us is, Frank, where are you at?
Isaac Allen Burns:Where did you spend the night?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, I think in the immediacy of after the battle, Frank would have made sure that all of the people that he cares about are safe. And I think he probably would have stayed up all night outside of wherever Timothy and Alana ended up to protect them, because that's really all he knows how to do in this moment.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Timothy and Alana definitely also pretty much everybody slept outside as most of the buildings were torched. There were some awnings and some covered shelters that people were able to stay in. And because Timothee had a child, they slept under some coverage, you guarding them all night. What is Crank thinking as Crank is standing at attention there guarding them?
Annie Hawthorne:I think he's trying to figure out how to be useful. Because he doesn't know a lot. He doesn't have a lot of skills. He he hits things really hard, and he sometimes brings people food, and that's really the only two things that he knows how to be helpful at. I think he's just thinking about, oh, these all these people have to eat tomorrow.
Annie Hawthorne:I should try to find them some food. But the bakery's gone. The bar's gone. They're like, where can I find food? And I think that he's gonna make it his mission in the morning to go out in search of some kind of sustenance for everybody.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, this is incredible. Okay. Our first roll of season two right here. Here we go. Go ahead and roll.
Isaac Allen Burns:We'll say a instinct check to find some food.
Annie Hawthorne:I still got my staff.
Isaac Allen Burns:You still do have your staff. Yes. You do.
Annie Hawthorne:Uh-oh. Can I I wanna grip the staff?
Isaac Allen Burns:Uh-huh.
Annie Hawthorne:And I don't think I've done this yet today. I wanna ask the staff and nature where I can find food. Beautiful. Amazing. And I want, if I can, to use I've got the magic, baby, for my role.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh. Here's what I'm gonna say. You've had the staff for a little while now. And as you reach in to that magic that is dwelling within this staff, I will let you have advantage on this check. However, I will ask you to mark a stress.
Annie Hawthorne:Can I use my experience?
Isaac Allen Burns:You may use your experience. As you are getting more used to magic and magical effects and all.
Annie Hawthorne:Y'all, that's another crit on twelves. What?
Rowan Collins:Oh my god.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm serious. I'm a 100% serious. Second time I've rolled these dice Isaac's is just spell. Second time I've rolled these dice, both times I've been a crit on twelves. Isaac's face
Rowan Collins:is so upset.
Joe Diametti:Does Crank get that stress back?
Annie Hawthorne:I don't know. Do I? If I crit, what is I get a hope back, don't I?
Isaac Allen Burns:If you crit, you can you gain a hope and feel the stress.
Annie Hawthorne:Amazing. I love that for me.
Joe Diametti:That is
Annie Hawthorne:insane. You guys can verify if you want. Like, look at that.
Rowan Collins:It is there. It is that's true.
Isaac Allen Burns:I just don't know what to do. I just I just don't know what to do here. I feel like I need to take we need to take, like, a ten minute break. We've only been recording for two seconds and already Can
Joe Diametti:we I actually have to use the restroom.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, okay. Yeah. No. We're gonna all take a break
Joe Diametti:because the grit was too strong. We'll edit that out.
Isaac Allen Burns:We'll that out. But, you know, Joe's That
Annie Hawthorne:is absolutely wild.
Isaac Allen Burns:So, Annie, you are reaching within this staff, and your senses take you underground, and you expand out your consciousness. And you see a little rat. You see a little rat screaming. He's dig he's digging in the ground. He's digging in the ground.
Isaac Allen Burns:What's he digging? Uh-oh. A hole is before him. He gets into a room. He falls three feet into the ground.
Isaac Allen Burns:He hits the ground, but he's a rat, so he's fine. He gets up, and he looks in front of him. And what is it? It's a cellar. You know what's in this cellar?
Isaac Allen Burns:The most cheese you've ever seen in your life. You. That's right. This cellar is chock full of food and cheese and wine, and this rat rubs its hands together because it just got the payload. And little does it know that it just led you to its stash.
Isaac Allen Burns:And sure enough, as your senses come back to you, like a pinpoint radar, you know exactly where that's at.
Annie Hawthorne:I will go off.
Isaac Allen Burns:You go off. You find the building that you are going to. You realize this is the mayor's actual home and house. Crank, you walk inside, and you see a husk of a home. Clearly, this is very structurally unstable.
Isaac Allen Burns:But what does Crank know about structural engineering? Right? All you know is that you see a hatch in the corner of the main room. It looks wooden. The little metal pull handle that you know will lead down to where food is.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I will go over to it and open the hatch and then go down.
Isaac Allen Burns:You go down, and sure enough, you're pick of the litter. You've got wines. You've got cheeses. And you see there's a rat in the corner looking at you. Its hands are pressed up against the back wall, kinda like Krunk in Heifer's New Groove when he's hiding, and the rat is looking at you wide eyed and breathing really heavy.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm gonna just gonna reach back to the staff again and touch it, and I'm just gonna say, I mean you no harm. Will you share your food with me?
Isaac Allen Burns:So are you gonna eat you're using the staff's magic too.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm trying to use the magic to speak to the rat.
Isaac Allen Burns:Awesome. Okay. Well, we're gonna do this again. Can you give me this me a
Joe Diametti:presents roll. Annie, you have the chance to do the funniest thing.
Annie Hawthorne:Crit on twelve?
Isaac Allen Burns:Once again, Marcus Dress and roll a presence check.
Annie Hawthorne:Presence check. I use I've got the magic baby again?
Isaac Allen Burns:Absolutely spend a hope to do that, and I swear, Annie, if you crit
Rowan Collins:He's gonna
Annie Hawthorne:walk out
Isaac Allen Burns:right now. I'm looking at a window right now. I am jumping out.
Rowan Collins:Please don't
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm on the First Floor, but I will break through that window.
Rowan Collins:Please don't break my window.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm gonna cut my arms on the glass as I leap out and defenestrate myself.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I didn't cry, but I got a seven and twelve.
Rowan Collins:Alright. With
Annie Hawthorne:hope. With with hope. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:With hope. Okay. Awesome.
Annie Hawthorne:That's great. Nineteen twenty twenty one minus my presence minus one, so 20.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's really good. That's really good. As, once again, you touch the staff and you feel your magic course through you, a tightness comes into side of you for just a moment, like a like a tension. But as quickly released as the rat looks at you, and its eyes are wide and says, who are you? How'd you find this place?
Isaac Allen Burns:This is my home now. You just come into my home. You steal my cheese.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I'm asking politely for some of your cheese. I don't wanna take all of your cheese, but my name is Craig. Hello. It's nice to meet you. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns:My name is Pierre. Pierre. That is right. I found this place. I was on patrol with all of my brethren and my kin, and I found this place.
Isaac Allen Burns:I did not tell the others.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I see.
Isaac Allen Burns:Of the action happened, and I hid here and ate some cheese.
Annie Hawthorne:I mean, that sounds like a great way to pass a battle.
Joe Diametti:It cuts away for a second.
Isaac Allen Burns:She's like
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:There's a lot of people who who need food, and I I just wanna take some of it and share it with them.
Isaac Allen Burns:I see you are a. Don't you know that many of my kin and brethren died in that battle? They were stomped on by nasty metro people. And here I mourn them by eating cheese in their honor. You would take that from them.
Isaac Allen Burns:You would take the the opportunity for me to eat cheese in their honor by stealing this cheese.
Annie Hawthorne:I I'm not stealing it. I'm just asking you if I can have some. Would would you let me have something
Isaac Allen Burns:How much will you pay me for these cheese? Yes.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I have some gold, I guess. What's a rat do with gold?
Isaac Allen Burns:What did you like to know? I keep my own secrets.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. Well, I'll open my hatch, and I'll see how much money I have.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You got, like, a handful of gold. Give me some gold, please. However much you think I deserve.
Annie Hawthorne:Take, like, I don't know, a quarter of a handful.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. You give him I'll pinch
Annie Hawthorne:a couple of coins in my giant fingers.
Isaac Allen Burns:You give him an amount of gold that is allowed for a rat, and he takes it and says, very good. You have a deal. You can have the cheese.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, well, thank you.
Isaac Allen Burns:And for free, I give you the wine. Oh. Because that comes free of cost.
Annie Hawthorne:Thank you. I'm I'm sure someone will like the wine.
Isaac Allen Burns:I cannot drink it for I am a rat. Mhmm. I do not know how to open the courts.
Annie Hawthorne:Right. You don't have thumbs.
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't have thumbs. Mhmm. I can eat cheese very easy, but I cannot open wine bottles.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. It's a little difficult. I can't really either. I don't think that I have the the proper
Rowan Collins:I see.
Annie Hawthorne:Dexterity for that. Anyway Anyway Thanks for the cheese, and I'll just start shoveling cheese into my my body.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see the business rat smiles as he's done a good deed today, and he scrambles into a little hole in the side and disappears. Maybe we'll see him again someday. Crank, as you head back to Timothee and Alana with a chest full of cheese, we go to Kapi. Kapi, where did you spend the night? Where are you at right now?
Joe Diametti:So I think Kapi wakes up in the adventuring guild. He's on a twin sized cot that he's probably slept on for sixteen years.
Isaac Allen Burns:Like college dorm?
Joe Diametti:Yeah. I I just picture it's like in a corner. The bed's covered with, like, clothes and, you know, just all kinds of stuff and makes it almost impossible to see. But, you know, he gets up and he puts his jacket on like he does every day and he steps out into the main room and the place is just destroyed from the battle yesterday and he looks around and he can just just tell us he can just tell it's different and he sees a half bottle of booze on the desk and he turns around back towards the bed and goes, I think we gotta start the day. And Scarlet comes up from the pile of clothes that was Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Scarlet leerily opens her eyes and says, I don't wanna wake up.
Joe Diametti:I'd love to lay here all day with you. I really would. But the town needs a scarlet. Let's go. Come on.
Joe Diametti:Let's go. He's like dragging her. He's like, come on.
Isaac Allen Burns:So the two of you get up, you get dressed, you get ready for the day, and you leave the Adventuring Guild to see the total destruction of Bracken Road. You see Scarlet looking out at it, and just she lets out a heavy sigh of disappointment.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. And Kapi, you know, has his hands on his hips and, you know, determination in his eyes, and he goes, let's get to work. You know? He's like and he clapped his hands, and he starts walking down. He's like Gosh.
Joe Diametti:People need us.
Isaac Allen Burns:She she follows you. You see that she does not look in the direction of the bakery. But sure enough, the two of you do your best to sort of help people out, get things moving. Scarlet is, of course, having a business mind, and so it's very organized. And so it does not take very much before the two of y'all are sort of not like ordering people around, but directing.
Isaac Allen Burns:Mhmm. You you take on a managerial position, and you begin managing some projects. Pretty much the whole day here, you see that major Balthazar, yourself, and Scarlet as sort of two somewhat leaders, and then you are taking care of the town and the people who need help. Near the end of the day, major is talking to you both, and he looks at you too and says, I've already sent word to the capital, so they'll know to expect all of us. I also sent word to my brother to let him know the news of our father.
Isaac Allen Burns:That might take some time, but I can promise you that we'll have a bit of a camp set up outside the walls. And if we can't get a good one, I'm gonna make sure that the manor itself, that the yards there use so that people have a place that they can stay. We'll be using the Balthazar Manor lawns for more than just aesthetics, I'll tell you.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, what's how who are we assigning to rebuild Bracken Road?
Isaac Allen Burns:He sort of looks at Scarlet and then looks at you and says, son, the extent of damage here is such that we are gonna have to prioritize relocating people rather than rebuilding for now. Couple of individuals have indicated to us that they're gonna stick around and try and do what they can, but right now, we have about 1,500 people just milling about the ruins of this place that need a place to stay that isn't just under the stars.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. Yeah. No. I I no. I I know, but, you know, you're allocating funds to rebuild Bracken Road.
Joe Diametti:People, they need to come back here. They people are and Kapi kinda looks around at the nothing. People have to come back here.
Isaac Allen Burns:Scarlet sort of has put a hand on your arm as Major says. Right now, that cannot be our priority, is rebuilding. We need to make sure that these people are safe and have a place to stay.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. No.
Isaac Allen Burns:I We need to figure out the line of succession.
Joe Diametti:I understand. We're gonna make sure they're safe. Yeah. What about the people that are gonna come back?
Isaac Allen Burns:Son, I don't think people are coming back.
Joe Diametti:I don't have time for this. I every time I have to deal with your bureaucratic in there's a way that it can happen.
Annie Hawthorne:Crank walks up. Do you guys want some cheese? I found cheese. It's the only food I could find, but do you want some cheese?
Joe Diametti:Hey, Crank. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. I'll take some cheese. Major reaches out. Hey.
Annie Hawthorne:Here you go. Here you go.
Joe Diametti:Thank you.
Annie Hawthorne:Then I move on. Continue my rounds of cheese.
Rowan Collins:Oh, Craig, you have cheese?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I have pistachio. Yeah. Here's cheese for you. Cheese for your family. Cheese for
Rowan Collins:your cow. We don't have a cow anymore.
Joe Diametti:I'm a cow.
Rowan Collins:Oh. Yeah. Cabbies.
Isaac Allen Burns:Anyway This is this is the levity that we needed here.
Rowan Collins:It was good.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. So we'll probably know what's coming back here, but that's okay because people will be relocating. So where'd you get this cheese?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, I found it.
Isaac Allen Burns:You found it? Yeah. Where'd you find?
Annie Hawthorne:Nature led me to the cheese, and I've talked to a rat, and the rat sold me the cheese.
Joe Diametti:Oh. You talked to a rat?
Annie Hawthorne:I talked to a rat. I did magic, Happy. Can you believe it?
Rowan Collins:Oh my gosh. That's really exciting. You did magic?
Annie Hawthorne:How is that possible? I can do magic now.
Isaac Allen Burns:Aren't you a mark two? I didn't know that was possible.
Rowan Collins:Craig is a mystery that can only be solved by Craig. Anyway, a rat sold you this cheese?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. He he was he was, I don't know. His name was Pierre. I think he might have been related to the mayor. And then he was like, I am eating this in the memory of my brethren.
Annie Hawthorne:I was like, oh, well, can I have some? And he was like, if you give me gold, I'll give you cheese.
Isaac Allen Burns:And I
Annie Hawthorne:was like, okay.
Rowan Collins:What does a rat need with gold?
Annie Hawthorne:I don't know. I asked him that, and he was just like, my business is my own.
Rowan Collins:I see.
Annie Hawthorne:So I was like, okay.
Rowan Collins:Well, there's a whole bunch of people that are also sick that probably also would like some cheese. Will you come with me and me distribute Absolutely.
Annie Hawthorne:Yes. I will. Sorry for interrupting.
Rowan Collins:Sorry, Kapi. Okay. I go off
Annie Hawthorne:and I distribute cheese.
Isaac Allen Burns:As the two of them leave, Kapi, you realize that major Balthazar used this moment to go somewhere else. Yeah. And now it's just you and Scarlett standing there.
Joe Diametti:See, this is the problem with these people. They're not you know, you know, they're they're they only wanna help with what's gonna give them an award or put them in the best light. It's not it's not real helping. You know? It's it's why we need an adventure guild.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, they are doing what they can in this moment. We don't really have much on the way of resources and frankly, think I agree with that. I don't know about this town coming back. It's been pretty razed to the ground, Gappy. I mean, if they rebuild, it's gonna take years.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. What about your what about your bakery? What about, you know, Crank's mom's library? What about Cyrus and
Isaac Allen Burns:They're gone, Gabby. They're gone.
Joe Diametti:Yeah, no, I know. I know. I know. Probably wouldn't be gone though if your family wasn't the way they are.
Isaac Allen Burns:Excuse me? What? What's that supposed to mean?
Joe Diametti:What do mean what's that supposed to mean? Look around. The town's on fire. The apple tree's still standing perfectly fine.
Isaac Allen Burns:That was maybe your Alfasar told us
Joe Diametti:that protected the work. This is why are you defending them? This is the same guy. We're not defending them. You are telling me.
Joe Diametti:That was gonna marry you off. You had to close the bakery. You don't you really don't think they had anything to do with this.
Isaac Allen Burns:I don't know what to think, Campy. Alright. I don't know. Everything has been turned upside down. I don't know what to think.
Isaac Allen Burns:I okay. You're gonna say that my dad did all this. Is that really what you're saying?
Joe Diametti:Yes. That is what I'm saying. I'm saying he definitely had a big piece. Scarlet, you cannot
Isaac Allen Burns:What do you mean? How would this benefit him? What is this? You saw that you're taking on these soldiers.
Joe Diametti:Major Balthazar side, you're defending your dad of all people that slime ball.
Isaac Allen Burns:He's the only family I have, Kapi. Scarlet just kinda looks at you for a moment. You can see emotions starting to build up. You can see tears forming at the side of her eyes, which you know is when she gets really mad.
Joe Diametti:Yeah. He's Kapi's also just has way too much, I think, going on to do anything productive. Yeah. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go see if Pistachio needs help taking care of the people
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:In the field.
Isaac Allen Burns:Look, I get that you're mad about all this. I get that you had all these plans to try and stop all this and it still happened, but that doesn't mean that you can take it out on me and my family.
Joe Diametti:I don't know why you're Why I'm what? Defending them. I it's no. You know what? Yeah.
Joe Diametti:No. I'm sorry that I took that on out on your family. I I hope your I hope your dad helps fund your business wherever that is gonna be. Next.
Isaac Allen Burns:She sighs really tersely and just turns around and walks away.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Just so you know, you're never gonna get any of this, and he, like, rubs his jacket again. God.
Isaac Allen Burns:Again. She turns around and flips you off.
Rowan Collins:Yep. Well Go, Scarlet.
Joe Diametti:You don't
Isaac Allen Burns:mean it. Keep stomp she stomps away. Okay. Shaking her head.
Joe Diametti:Uh-huh. Wow.
Annie Hawthorne:That was intense.
Rowan Collins:Wow. There's a
Joe Diametti:Kathy's gonna turn around, I guess, and go find Pistachio and Frank.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You go you go do that. You you turn around. You walk away. A scene has been caused, so you see a couple people who were, like, around the front gate or just kinda,
Joe Diametti:like, awkwardly watching. Yeah. What? Move on. Like, the whole like, we didn't just have a whole town burned down yesterday.
Joe Diametti:That's the most dramatic get back to
Isaac Allen Burns:You see a woman burst into tears, and you step inside the town. And you find Pistachio and Crank. They're over there's a little section in front of the church that stands there, the Enneach that father Graham runs. He's currently outside sort of tending to people, handing herbs and medicines to different people. You see that pistachio and crank are sort of in front handing people some cheese.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I I built a stand out of debris, and I, like, wrote in, like, whatever I could find. I don't know
Isaac Allen Burns:if if
Rowan Collins:We made a sign.
Annie Hawthorne:Made a sign. Ash.
Joe Diametti:Like, you used, like, the
Annie Hawthorne:ash of
Joe Diametti:something to make
Annie Hawthorne:free. Cheese. And I'm just giving people cheese.
Rowan Collins:Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
Isaac Allen Burns:And Kapi walks up.
Rowan Collins:Oh, hi, Kapi.
Joe Diametti:Hey. Gang, real quick. Huddle? Sure. Yeah, gang.
Joe Diametti:Well, everyone with waiting for cheese will be right with you.
Annie Hawthorne:I put a sign out that says back in five minutes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. You see father Graham walks up. You said huddle? Are we huddling?
Joe Diametti:No. Not you, father.
Isaac Allen Burns:Can I
Joe Diametti:it's just more of like an adventure guild kinda meeting?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, okay. My mistake. Sorry. I thought I was in
Rowan Collins:We'll be right with you, father.
Isaac Allen Burns:Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. You still got some of that cheese, though?
Isaac Allen Burns:You're not gonna have cheese,
Annie Hawthorne:are Yeah. I have more cheese, and I know where to get more. So here you go.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, thank you so much. He takes the whole wheel and then walks away.
Rowan Collins:See you.
Joe Diametti:You're a cheese dealer now?
Annie Hawthorne:I I just give people food. Okay. A wheel where you're dealing. Right?
Joe Diametti:Jesus. It doesn't matter. Hey, remember remember what we discussed about getting the staff back?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. What stuff?
Joe Diametti:Craig, we're still doing the the staff. Do we think it's time that we mosey on to return the staff to the Tabernacle and Persepolis and
Rowan Collins:Percival.
Joe Diametti:That one. Yeah. And, you know, this whole thing.
Rowan Collins:I do think it it is something we should do before we leave. I look around, How does the situation look for is it kinda pretty much stable? Are people mostly leaving? Or, like because Pistachio's been doing a lot of, like, medical stuff and now distributing food. Does it look kind of, like, evened out so that they could slip away and not be a big impact?
Isaac Allen Burns:Things have definitely settled down into a tenuous medium. You see that most people have either been taken care of or are kinda up and about at this point. Their wounds tended to. Lot of burns. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:So a lot of people sort of sitting around as various poultices are placed upon their skin. And you see most of the rescue efforts have pretty well finished off as most of the abled body have combed through the ruins to make sure that no one is stranded or in there. So now everyone is either being treated, standing in wait to leave, or quietly mourning by themselves.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Joe Diametti:Kid, I know what you're worried about. Major Balthazaran, they they have this. Right? They've made it pretty clear that they're in control of the situation. You've been able to help.
Joe Diametti:I'm sure that's probably helped your becoming a doctor skills, and I think it's probably time that we get this staff back.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Right?
Rowan Collins:Right. Crank?
Annie Hawthorne:Crank is very reluctant and is kind of, like, sidestepping to put more of himself in between them and the staff.
Joe Diametti:Mhmm.
Rowan Collins:Crank, it's probably the right time, you know? I mean, you were able to do all this magic. Now that you know what it feels like, you probably don't even need the staff. Right? That's just the easy thing.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, how do you know? What if I do need the staff?
Rowan Collins:What if
Annie Hawthorne:What if I can't do magic ever again without the staff?
Rowan Collins:Well, the first time I did magic, I thought it was a fluke. And then the second time I did magic, I thought that was a mistake. And then the third time, I believed in myself and knew what it felt like, and it was a little bit easier. So I think now that you know, it's you could do it. You know?
Rowan Collins:And besides, don't don't you have that book that you could study? Have you ever looked at the book that Post Maid is delivered?
Annie Hawthorne:No. I haven't even looked at that book. It's just been in there. I forgot about it because of the staff.
Rowan Collins:Well, see, I think the staff is like an easy button. Right? You know what it felt like. Now you have the neurons or whatever. But now, I think to progress, you've gotta, like, do the work.
Rowan Collins:And the longer you have the staff, the longer you're not gonna learn how to do that.
Annie Hawthorne:I guess that makes sense. Okay. I guess we can go take the staff in that direction.
Rowan Collins:We could take a scenic view, so you could say your goodbyes and stuff. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Joe Diametti:Gang's back together.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Gang's back together.
Joe Diametti:I look off into the distance for a sparkle, a glint. Look A glimmer.
Isaac Allen Burns:Incredible. You look off and you see that the unshakable mister Crank next to you looks into the forest. And, Crank, you do see a sparkle. You see a sparkle in the distance in the northern portion of the town over towards the trees. And as you look at that sparkle, you feel this almost thrumming vibration from the staff, almost pushing you in that direction.
Annie Hawthorne:Pushing me towards it, so I feel like it wants to go back.
Isaac Allen Burns:You Crank does get that sense.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:You two look off and just see trees.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, I think that's what convinces Crank finally.
Isaac Allen Burns:Very good.
Annie Hawthorne:I'll I'll just start towards the forest.
Rowan Collins:Oh. Oh. Okay. That's the direction.
Joe Diametti:We'll just follow
Rowan Collins:Yeah. The robot? Yep. We are following that way.
Isaac Allen Burns:The priest watches you as you leave, watches you go towards the forest, and eventually deep into the trees. As you walk a familiar path, I wanna know where everyone's mindsets are at as you're stepping through these woods and thinking of your next steps of where you wanna go. And we'll start with we'll start with Pistachio. Pistachio, as you're walking through these woods, what's going on in your mind? What's going on in Pistachio's head?
Rowan Collins:Pistachio's got a couple of different things. There's still a lot of emotions that they're trying to process. They killed a man. Their father's proud of them. They can't talk to their sister right now.
Rowan Collins:And this staff is a is a problem. So right now, they're trying to focus on just the things that they can control, which in this case is being around the people that they love and care about, and trying to, like, lose themselves in that moment in taking care of the staff to go see Percival. And and a little bit of them is also like, I hope I don't see that turd again.
Isaac Allen Burns:Turd? Turn. Oh, the turn. Oh my goodness. Every tweet in the air, Pistachio looks up to see if that turn is there.
Joe Diametti:Kapi, what about Kapi? What's Kapi's mindset right now? Where's his mind at? I think Kapi has convinced himself that returning the staff is going to somehow make everything better. He's convinced himself that there's clearly some kind of magic or something that the weird little gnome is gonna be able to do that is going to make him wildly prosperous or like turn back time or he's he's going through a lot of scenarios, a lot of ways that he's either going to, like, fix Bracken Road and be the hero and, you know, bring everybody back or, you know, make it so that none of this happened in the first place.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. Hope this will be the solution. Yeah. And, Crank, I'm curious right now. Crank's relationship to the staff and to magic right now.
Isaac Allen Burns:What does Crank feel as he is walking to eventually potentially give up the thing that has really brought magic into his life?
Annie Hawthorne:Apprehension and dread. Because I think Crank is convinced that the staff is the reason that he can do magic, and he's really afraid that giving it up, as you know what I mean, that he's never gonna be able to do magic again. That's a freak. Yeah. I think as I walk, I just my steps get slower and slower the closer we get.
Joe Diametti:Hey, buddy. Oh, hi. You okay?
Annie Hawthorne:No. I don't think so. Is this what sadness feels like?
Joe Diametti:I would I wouldn't know. I've never been sad.
Annie Hawthorne:What does it feel like? I feel like heavy.
Joe Diametti:You're a robot.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. Well, heavier than normal, like, in a different way. I mean, like, I don't I don't know.
Rowan Collins:Like, the entirety of the air around you is just denser?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. Yeah. Like that.
Joe Diametti:Shabby, like, looks off to the side for a minute. What? Listen. Even if you can't do magic after the staff, I mean, you're a seven foot robot, super strong.
Annie Hawthorne:All I ever wanted was to do magic.
Joe Diametti:But why?
Annie Hawthorne:Because I wanna help people the way Adrian helped people. Like, all I can do is hit things really hard. That's not helping people. That's hurting people.
Rowan Collins:You've also provided food for a bunch of people in the town.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. That's true.
Rowan Collins:You make us smile, and you make us laugh, and you protect us from getting hurt.
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. I guess that is true. But if I could do magic, could do so many more things. I wouldn't have found that food if it weren't for magic.
Joe Diametti:Well, maybe we can ask the little gnome how you could do magic.
Rowan Collins:Oh, yeah.
Joe Diametti:This is gonna fix everything, guys.
Rowan Collins:Oh, everything? Everything. What okay. What do you think it's gonna fix?
Joe Diametti:Name a thing. Fixed. Name another thing. I point it correctly.
Annie Hawthorne:Rat that likes cheese?
Isaac Allen Burns:Fixed.
Rowan Collins:Fixed. My farm being burnt to
Joe Diametti:ground. Fixed.
Rowan Collins:How is that gonna fix my farm?
Joe Diametti:Because if listen. Because it has to. Real easy. Right?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. But that doesn't mean that it's gonna change it back to the way it was.
Joe Diametti:Well, we don't know that.
Rowan Collins:I think that history would probably tell us.
Joe Diametti:Why is what is why what is the negativity? Guys, is it's gonna work out.
Rowan Collins:Okay. Alright. Pistachio jumps. Do you hear that?
Annie Hawthorne:I think it's just a bird.
Rowan Collins:I hope it's not that turd.
Isaac Allen Burns:Tweet tweet.
Rowan Collins:Do you hear that one?
Joe Diametti:Are you okay?
Rowan Collins:I swear that one bird has it out to get me. I don't know what I did.
Annie Hawthorne:You talk to it.
Rowan Collins:I know. Why does it hate me? I'm a friend of birds and animals and most things. And like, that one bird just does I guess because I was trying to keep it from getting laid. I'm sorry.
Rowan Collins:You didn't get laid, my guy. It's not my fault he didn't get laid. It's not my fault that we weren't birds. It's not my fault that our fucking better
Annie Hawthorne:Well, perhaps we should continue and get out of these woods.
Joe Diametti:Agreed.
Rowan Collins:Agreed. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Crank, you're in the lead, aren't you? Yeah. Can you give me a presence check with disadvantage, please?
Annie Hawthorne:I can indeed.
Joe Diametti:Has anyone rolled but Annie?
Isaac Allen Burns:No. Annie
Rowan Collins:rolls enough for all of us with all your crits.
Annie Hawthorne:Four. Never mind. With white? Or four with hope.
Rowan Collins:I think that's the lowest Annie's ever rolled ever.
Isaac Allen Burns:Three of you are walking through these woods, being led at this point by Crank, who is being pushed forward here. The tension and shock of yesterday has sort of worn off, and now the grating tension on your nerves from the stress has sort of wore away the defense mechanisms and walls you had up has this back and forth strained and stressful, continues. You don't notice the trees are quiet, that no wind is blowing. You don't notice the birds, other than in Pistachio's own imagination, have ceased tweeting. You see through the trees as you're walking through the clearing where the dais stands.
Isaac Allen Burns:And, Crank, as you're sort of going forward, with that role, I think your mind is on other things. The worry of losing magic on the staff is forefront of your mind. The dais doesn't represent the location you're going to. It almost represents losing something, Which is why when you arrive in front of the clearing, the thing that jolts you out of this reverie of sorts for all three of you is a familiar voice that says, gotta love adventurers, always right on time. First and foremost, the dais is still there.
Isaac Allen Burns:But seated on top of it, his legs crossed, is a familiar looking blue inferno wearing a purple vest, some loose fitting slacks, his hands in the pockets, his little vest. You see on their knees next to the altar, a burlap sack on their head, so you cannot quite see their face. But you see someone with verbal blue skin and feminine features. What have you done? Ash simply smiles.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, I've done nothing yet. Hey. It's a podcast.